Knight Casefiles Book 0: Genesis

Genesis [Chapter 7]

Chapter 7

I spent the rest of the night thinking of what Sigrun said. One thing was for sure…she was right.

Afternoon, the next day, I found myself back at the same place at the same time, with the same cold cup of coffee in my hands. I knew what I was doing but I didn’t know why. I could’ve told you it was because I wanted to live up to my side of my bargain with Sigrun, but in reality, I knew that wasn’t the case.

So, I waited, trying to enjoy the sights and sounds around me.

Sure enough, the woman from yesterday came, still dressed for business. She cocked an eyebrow as I waved at her to join me.

“Wow, two days in a row,” she said as she approached. “You sure you’re not stalking me?”

The corner of my mouth pulled up as I showed my pair of binoculars. “I hear a lot of girls find good-looking stalkers sexy these days.”

She chuckled, taking the seat opposite me. “Only when they wear glitter.”

“I’ll make a mental note of that.”

An awkward moment passed between and I realized this was going to be harder than I thought. Why was I fumbling for words? I’d never had any trouble picking anyone up before. Then again, they were always intoxicated either from alcohol or the club’s atmosphere. This woman wasn’t.

“Thanks,” she said, breaking the silence for me. She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and placed it in my hand. It was the paper I’d given her just the day before, just one line hastily scribbled on it: Sorry for puking on you. “It’s really very romantic.”

I found myself smiling again. It was becoming easier and easier. Where months ago, I would’ve strained and twitched with the simple gesture, now I was enjoying it. “I try. I’m glad I could cheer you up.”

The woman groaned. “Was I that obvious?”

“Not at all,” I assured her. “It’s just I’m used to seeing people like that.” Every day when I look in the mirror, I added mentally.

“You must have a very depressing day job then.”

“Heh, day job.” I fumbled at my cup. What was I doing?

The woman let out a tired sigh and all but slumped on the table, propping herself on her elbows. “Tell me something, Mr. Guy: have you ever felt like you were in a dead end.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean…well,” she looked around as if she was afraid someone would overhear her. “The only reason I’m telling you this is because I’m hoping I won’t see you again. Got it?”

I pretended to zip my lips and nodded. “Go on.”

“I’ve been in this job for almost four years now,” she began, gesturing at the building she’d come from. It was the office of a huge local newspaper. “I keep thinking that it’s going to get better but it’s just not.”

She started gushing then. She told me about how she’d been pressured into journalism by her parents despite never having thought of writing. How she’d pursued the career because she wanted to see her parents happy. And how, after being exposed to everything a journalist gets exposed to, she found that she loved her work and what it meant to people. She told me of how she left her old job to pursue one that would give her more chances – the career she was pursuing in that building just across from us. And how she was failing miserably at it.

“Why don’t you just quit?” I asked.

She stared blankly at me as if I’d just asked the most impossibly obvious question. “Because this is what I want to do.”

Oddly enough, I could sympathize with her. I realized why I’d clung to her every word during our conversation then, how intently I’d listened to her tell a tale I couldn’t have possibly understood, not being a journalist and all. It was because we were essentially at the same place in our lives. A crossroads.

A wise man once tried to sum up the meaning of life and he came close too – It goes on.

No matter how many hardships you go through, no matter how much crap you step in, the world keeps spinning regardless. It’s up to you whether or not you let yourself get left behind.

Claude’s words suddenly became clearer to me. Running like that, the way you did – now, that was bravery.

I was always of the opinion that being brave was about facing your fears. Standing up to the darkest of nightmares despite all the odds. Now, I’m thinking that maybe courage is more complicated than that.

Maybe, it’s about continuing - enduring life’s hardships no matter what Lady Luck flings at you in her drunken fury. And in the end, when the chips are down; when you’ve sunken so low; when you’ve run from everything the light touches – it’s about struggling to pick yourself up again, even if you don’t want to – aspiring to better than you are.

I couldn’t have saved those children. I couldn’t have fought the Strigoi. But by running, I assured myself that it would never happen again. That I’d never be in such a helpless situation. Never again.

I don't want to demean anybody's death. But let's get real: Any idiot can die for a cause. It take a better person to live for one.

I smiled at my new friend and asked the nearby waitress for couple of milkshakes. “My name’s Chris, by the way,” I said to her.

She returned the smile and for the first time in a long time, I felt happy. “I’m Elaine.”

Life is hard, there’s no contesting that. But that’s what makes it worth living.