iwaoi Angst/ Keep my Heart for Me

Chapter Four

To be completely fair, Oikawa isn’t dead. He’s close though.

After numerous scans and tests, the doctors were unfortunate to break the news to the boys that Oikawa’s brain tumor has enlarged and has been pressing onto his nerves or something. Iwaizumi didn’t know how to react when he heard the news. He was numb. He had a hunch that this day would come, but not so fast. There was probably nothing in the world that could prepare him for such shocking news.

As for the question “Does Iwaizumi like Oikawa”, he has a firm answer. Yes, he does, and he likes Oikawa more than a normal human being should love a person. He craves his presence, he wants to spend every living minute with the boy, as annoyingly cheery he gets, Iwaizumi loves it. He loves how Oikawa could start a topic on literally anything, He loves how he could go on for hours about how the Yuri On Ice anime should have another season before he dies, well that part Iwaizumi hates. He loves how Oikawa could be so focused on his drawings that he could sit by Iwaizumi in complete silence while watching his pencil scratch on the piece of paper.

During the days where Oikawa got transferred to the ICU since the doctors would like to keep a closer eye on him, Iwaizumi felt empty. His entire body was just dread, he didn’t have any energy to do anything, which is kind of normal for a person with heart problems, but he felt like his soul was just not present in his body. His sketchbook was abandoned on the table for the period Oikawa was gone. Iwaizumi longed for the company, his room was oddly quiet without Oikawa ranting away, he kept his sketches that he drew knowing Oikawa would want them, well the only sketch he did on the day Oikawa collapsed. 

But Oikawa is back at the ward, tubes covering his entire body, the heart monitor being the only thing that is a signal that he is alive. Iwaizumi crept into the room and sat down on the plastic chair. Oikawa was lying on the bed, pale as a sheet.

Iwaizumi took the time to really look at him. His fingers long and sleek, evident of him being a volleyball player, his arms bruised due to the effects of brain cancer. He looks peaceful, quiet for once in his life. Iwaizumi hesitantly took his hand in his. They were cold, Iwaizumi couldn’t feel the life and joy that Oikawa normally carried in them. They were limp in Iwaizumi’s hands. 

The doctors said he would wake up, which is a great thing, but when would he wake up is still unknown. Iwaizumi hoped and prayed he would wake up soon, he would confess everything to him, how he dreamt about him every day when he was down at ICU, how he missed his annoying rants about BTS, how he would sit by his side watching Iwaizumi draw for hours. Iwaizumi missed Oikawa so much.

“Oikawa?”

No response.

“I’m not really sure if you can hear this, but I’m too awkward to say it to your face.” He intertwined his fingers with Oikawa’s, gently squeezing them. “I- uh, how do I say this. I- I really like you Oikawa.

Like a lot. Like Kuroo and Kenma level a lot. And I’m sorry for not figuring it out earlier. I have this gut feeling that I was the cause of your seizure, maybe you cried too hard or whatever. And even though Akaashi and even the doctors, who by the way, apparently ship us more than Bokuto and Akaashi which is just total bullshit. Anyway, I- I just wanted to say I’m sorry.

And I miss you like a fucking lot. I miss you rambling about your BTS boys and how you would try to follow their choreography and failing miserably. I miss how you could start a conversation with literally anyone you meet. I miss how you make me feel.

Oikawa, yo-you make me feel happy. I haven’t had that much of a fun time with someone for so long, dare I say never. But I never realized how much I like being with you. I’m probably not making any sense right now cause I’m on 2 hours of sleep cause Kuroo stayed over last night and was fucking loud.

But anyway, I’m scared, Oikawa. I’m scared I will never be able to tell you all this or throw crumpled up pieces of paper at you, or get annoyed at how you would be distracted by literally anything. Can you please wake up for me?”

“Wow, I never took you as the sappy type Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi’s head never snapped up so fast. “Oikawa?”

“Well I’m glad you like me Iwa-chan, I’m literally everyone’s type.”

Iwaizumi practically jumped out of the plastic chair and threw his arms around Oikawa. Fuck, he missed him so much. His stupid comebacks, his loud existence, everything.

“I fucking missed you, you bastard.” Iwaizumi mumbled with his face buried in Oikawa’s shoulder. “I thought you left me.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t dare to leave you behind would I?” Iwaizumi could particularly hear the smirk in his voice.

The rest is history. The young couple became the star in the hospital, with Oikawa proudly being wheeled around the ward by a very reluctant Iwaizumi. Despite cheery “hello”s and sunshine smiles, Oikawa’s situation was deteriorating. He was having way more headaches, some so bad they had Oikawa gripping Iwaizumi’s hand like a life rope and squeezing the life out of the other while tears spilled out of his eyes as he winced and groaned in agony.

Iwaizumi wasn’t far better either, each day he found it harder to move without going out of breath. What seemed like normal daily activities were getting more and more troublesome for him to complete.
I

waizumi knew they didn’t have much time left. A love story between a kid with stage 3 brain cancer, and the other with cardiomyopathy. The universe doesn’t spare when it comes to time.