sore ribs || the outsiders imagines

hurt // d.w.

warnings: more pg-13 than pg, if ya know what I mean. mentions of self harm, self harm thoughts/urges, mentions of sexual behavior. bittersweet.

I'll admit this is a bit ooc for dally, but just go along w it

Skin was just a coverup. It always had been. Everything stayed inside your clean sewn skin, and before, you had never even dreamt of letting out what was bottled up beneath it.

Unspeakable things - dark memories, mounds upon mounds of emotions, trauma, heart ache, all of it was building up below the surface of your skin, and it had started to become too much.

Days seemed longer, nights seemed lonelier, and any emotion other than sadness seemed to evaporate into thin air. It was all gone, and the melancholy took its place, filling you to the brim - until it started to spill over and you couldn't take it anymore.

So you started finding ways to let it out, drain it, try to lessen the effects that it had been having on you. Small cuts, burns, bruises, blood. Anything and everything, you tried. You tried and you wished and you begged and you pleaded, but it never seemed to work.

You thought that letting the despair seep from you occasionally, would help you feel better over time. It didn't. If anything, it seemed to make thing worse.

Now you weren't just sad - you were empty. Completely and utterly drained of everything, happiness, sadness, anger, everything. There was nothing left now. Just the skin that had once held it all inside - torn and beaten and worn. Empty.

But, you did find that there was one thing left beneath your skin. Hurt.

Dallas would be back soon. He'd been in the cooler for a few weeks, and that's when this had all started happening; while he was gone. Maybe it was worry or just overthinking of things, but either way, it had grown into something that couldn't be contained by just you. And now it was nothing, everything was nothing.

You hoped having Dal back would help you feel alive again, but you were also worried. Worried that he'd see what you'd done to yourself and find you disgusting, disgraceful and indecent. Not like he himself was anything near decent.

Not like what you had done was only in an attempt to make yourself better.

So, when he came home to you and you put on a smile for him - you had no plan on letting him know what would happen.

Yes, it would all be just fine.

He'd never find out, he'd never need to know - and it would all be okay. It would all go back to the way things were before.

It wasn't a bad time that the two of you had spent together. You ended up passing out with him at Buck's, up in the bedroom, after things got heated in the dark. For the duration of that time spent together, you seemed to forget all about the hurt that ran through your veins, the scars and bruises and burn marks, all of it.

Dallas loved you, and he seemed to be sincere about it by the way things were last night - but deep down you wondered if he was just screwing you because he could - because he needed someone to screw.

Maybe you'd never know - you couldn't never see yourself asking such questions to his face.

Morning rolled around quickly, and here you found yourself staring blankly up at the ceiling, for no reason at all. To the right of you was a very deep sleeping Dal, and as you looked at him through your eyelashes, you couldn't help but smile.

He was still just a boy. Seventeen and all, he was still a boy - and that side of him rarely seemed to show, but it did when he was sound asleep. He looked innocent.

Now you decided that he loved you, sincerely, and that things were going to be alright, so long as he didn't find out about what had happened while he was gone.

You still didn't know if he could love you with that sort of weight, and you sure as hell didn't want to find out if he couldn't.

After moments more of pondering, you found yourself slipping out from under the covers of the makeshift bed, quietly tiptoeing to throw on some clean clothes.

As you began pulling your shirt over your head, the sound of the creaking mattress rang out quietly, causing you to look at it over your shoulder. Dallas sat up slowly, his bare chest exposed as he did so - tiredly running a hand through his hair.

You smiled at his sleepiness, remembering how innocent he'd appeared only minutes prior.

"How'd you sleep?" you questioned softly, content filling you as your white shirt fell comfortable around your torso.

"Better than I did when I was in the cooler," Dal responded, his voice gravelly and thick. He always sounded that way in the morning - you loved it.

You flashed him a gentle smile, leaving the small talk as is while you searched for your socks.

The room was silent - each and everyone of your footsteps echoing uncomfortably as you scavenged the room. Dal sat silently on the bed, seemingly in deep thought. You paid no mind to it, sitting down infront of him and slowly pulling each sock up and over your heel, before starting the same routine with your shoes.

"I woke up real early this morning," Dal stated abruptly, rubbing the back as he did so. He never seemed the type to be nervous or sincere - it was a side that you only got to see much of.

"Yeah? Why?" You responded, not thinking as you laced your shoes up.

"I dunno, man, I just had this gut feeling," he mumbled, sighing as you placed your hand on his knee.

You turned around to fully face him, sitting atop your heels. You traced his eyes for any sign of what that gut feeling might've been - to no avail.

"I saw the bruises, uh, on your arms and side," you froze suddenly, your heart beat picking up rapidly, "I thought you might've got in a fight or maybe gotten jumped while I was gone - but then i saw the burn marks and the cuts."

Paralyzed in fear, the only thing you found yourself able to move was your eyes, which flickered down to your hands and traced them with anxiety. The whole world was collapsing in on you, just when you thought things were about to turn around. You knew exactly what was about happen. He was going to leave you, he was going to leave and forget you even existed. The emptiness would continue to reside and the hurt that was engraved within you would only grow, and your skin would never look the same again. It was all going to crumble, burn, bre-

"I just wanted to tell you, that uh, it's okay that you're hurting. And I love you. I love you too much to watch this go on without sayin' nothing."

Oh.

Dallas Winston had never been good at this kind of thing. But for you - he stuck around. He stuck around because he knew how it felt to be abandoning at times like these, and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he did that to you, believe it or not.

Life went on, the world kept spinning and the sun still rose every morning. There are times when you hate yourself, times when you feel the need to drain yourself once again.

But from then on, Dally was always there to help you through it. He loved you - no matter what happened. He'd never admit it to anyone but you, but he'd always love you. He'd always know when you're happy, when you're sad, excited, and most importantly: when you're hurt.

And he loved you through it all.