When he first woke up, Louis was confused to feel the weight of another person on his chest. For a moment, he panicked thinking that he made the mistake of actually calling Jake like he had wanted to the past few days. It's not that he wanted to hurt Harry, necessarily, but he definitely just wanted to know that he would be fine without him. After his slip and then immediate regret of his words, his relationship with his ex-husband felt painful and enigmatic. If he had truly meant those words, then everything would still be comfortable. What does it mean to rekindle a relationship with someone you were once married to? Do you have to start all over, or could you just pick up where you left off?
Harry's light snores brought him back to reality. His heart swelled with love as he stared down at the curls stuck to his slightly damp forehead, and those perfect pink lips slightly parted into a small "o". A quiet chuckle lovingly escaped Louis. Harry's drool annoyed him towards the end of their marriage, but now it made him smile like a lovesick fool. As much as he probably needed to continue ignoring Harry for both of their sakes, he couldn't help but feel content with where they were. Desperately, he wished to wake the sleeping man up, to hear his husky morning voice. He missed waking up with Harry, morning breath and all.
He wasn't sure how much time had passed while he watched him, but he his heart faltered when Harry's eyelids finally fluttered open, rapidly blinking the sleep out of his green eyes.
"Good morning, sunshine," Louis grinned.
After a moment of confusion, he smiled lazily up at him before rubbing his eyes and dragging his hand across the curls on his forehead.
"What time is it?" he asked, feeling around for his phone.
"Well, it was around noon when I woke up, but I'm not sure what time it is now."
Harry finally found his phone tangled in the sheets, raising the screen to reveal the time. 1:05.
"You watched me for an hour? Why not just wake me up?" He asked incredulously with a slight laugh as he swung his feet over the edge of the bed. Louis frowned at the loss of Harry's warmth against him.
"I wasn't really in a rush," he shrugged. He watched his love stretch out in the air and exhale. "How did you sleep?"
"I slept better than I..." He trailed off. Louis know he was going to say he slept better than he had been sleeping without him; he felt the same.
"Me too," he blushed up at Harry, who smiled sheepishly before tugging on a black shirt he had laying around.
His apartment had become messy, and he knew as soon as he saw it that he too was having a hard time with the distance. He always denied his responsibilities, namely his cleaning duties, when even the smallest bit of depression or distraction crept upon him. It used to always annoy him before, but the messes stopped in their shared home as Harry slowly began to spend night in hotels. Now, because he knew the absence of a mess meant the absence of Harry, he didn't seem to mind it much anymore, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was glad he was upset enough about what he had said to be in this state. Of course he never wanted Harry to hurt, but he also needed some sign of regret to soften his heart towards him. Not that it ever hardened much anyway. He still was such a softy for him.
"Are you free today?" Harry asked hesitantly.
"I planned to record a few samples at the house for a new project, but I wanted to do that later tonight anyway. Why?" Much to his dismay, the words rushed out eagerly despite his greatest efforts to maintain a casual facade.
"I just thought we should talk," He paused for a second with pressed lips. "Although, admittedly, I have no idea what to say. I just know we should finally talk about... us."
