❣️"Angel (Hates) Loves A Sinner." ❣️

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Dying from my drug abuse

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Dying from my drug abuse. Souls feeling loose. It might leave my body. Burying dead friends as a hobby. Pushed all my loved ones away. Blocked their numbers like yesterday. I only love my drug dealer. My Best friend, my fucking feel good killer.

Saw my future in someone else's eyes. Lie to myself, said "I'm fine." Digging deep in the back of my mind. I know this road leaves me blind. Eventually I'll take my last breath. A shot of heroin and meth. Praying this heart gives out. Don't mistake my words as someone chasing clout. This is the actual life I've lived. Ashamed to admit it, but fuck it. Here I am.

It's a miracle I'm alive. My inability to see it that way, but I try. Voices in my head telling me to die. Passive thoughts about my suicide. Struggling with these ideations. Trying my luck at rehabilitation. This is the safest situation. Caving to the pressures of life sober. What the fuck do I do, I'm free in October. Every morning waking up in a cold sweat. Forgetting a night terror by chain smoking cigarettes.

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