𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇! s. black

letter the first.

forgive me for my eagerness. to anyone else, i would say you are simply my muse. ah, but you are so much more than that. i hide behind my façade of ink and paper, writing this in my common room under the cover of darkness. you will receive this in the great hall. my apologies, this must remain inconspicuous; for your sake and mine. it would be an embarrassment to you and death to me. why? for i am just a student, and you are a lord. you are a lord, and i am incomplete.

of course, you are beautiful. beautiful isn't the right word, even. you are ethereal, godlike, golden. i would not dare say this aloud. i laugh thinking of it. you would first shake your head in disbelief, then laugh in amusement. after i would be hexed into oblivion. the lights would pour into my body. minuscule knives would jab into my skin, crimson staining the floor. rather addicting to think of, in a gruesome way.

you will surely think of me as the strangest of people now. you would have before. i do not mind, for any thought of you enjoying my presence is foolish and naive. now i cannot afford childishness. it would surely mean death. what's the use? i may as well be a dementor, for all the good you think of me. apologies, golden one. i was carried away in my own feelings. they are irrelevant. not really; for if they were, this letter would not be.

sirius almost laughed when he saw the envelope, inscribed simply with 'letter the first'. surely it was a note from a silly girl confessing her love, with her name at the bottom. it would be with poor grammar and spelling, and plenty of mistakes. they always figured he liked stupid things, brainless dolls who fawned over him. oh, the attention was nice, sure; but the inarticulate doe-eyed girls were tiring.

however, it was anything but childish. a heartfelt letter, one of many, surely; the title would not mislead him, and sirius found himself genuinely interested if there would be more. would they want him to send a letter back? a smile had unknowingly spread over his face.

'what have you got there, mate?' james tried to peer over his shoulder, but sirius discreetly hid it. he felt protective over this letter, his letter.

'nothing. just a letter.'

james must have understood his need for privacy - maybe it was in the way he gripped the edges of it, or the dazed look in his eyes - because he nodded and looked away. 'mum's sent you some fudge. says she loves you and hopes to see you soon.'

sirius grinned. euphemia potter was a blessing. 'send her my love.'

'will do, mate.'