With Fear or Without

20- Promise?

"Sounds kinda nice, though, doesn't it?"

Cleo was startled by Charlie's question. They had been sitting in silence long enough for her to sink deep into her own thoughts. They had been led into a small room just like the rest with a couch below a small window and two cushioned chairs facing it. Cleo was perched on the couch, staging at the boring walls as if they were the most intriguing pieces of art she'd ever seen. Too many thoughts crowded her head. She couldn't hold onto one before another came along and shoved its way forward.

After a long silence, Charlie continued, "Beating Fear. Hope winning."

"What would that even... look like?" Andy's voice was full of quiet wonder, trying to imagine the unimaginable.

A world without fear. Without Fear. It sounded like a dream. A real dream, one that only exists deep in the minds of those plagued by fear.

But something about that dream was wrong.

Fear keeps you in check. It's the reason you stay safe, why you avoid places you should avoid, why you stay on the path instead of jumping off the cliff just to see if you could fly. Fear is a force that keeps people alive. It is important. Having fear makes you human, makes you alive. Fear and Hope are opposite forces, but they could coexist. They had to coexist.

But Cleo didn't think about any of this.

No, she thought about all the fear she had ever experienced. Horrible, crippling fear, irrational fear, small everyday fears. She thought about all the times she had succumbed to fear instead of overcoming it. The idea of beating it once and for all was tempting. Too tempting. And she knew her friends felt it too.

"I have a question. Before we give them an answer," Cleo said finally.

Andy and Charlie spoke at once.

"What is it?"

"And what is our answer exactly?"

Cleo decided to ignore Charlie's question and answer the first, the one she had an answer for. "We need to know why the rest of their people are against this. Why they were forced out in the first place." She leaned back into the soft couch. She hadn't realized how exhausted she was. It covered her like a weighted blanket, sapping her energy and making her eyes droop. Grant Park felt like a lifetime ago.

"I agree." Andy leaned against the wall immediately beside the door, having barely entered the room at all. Wisps of blonde hair had started to come out from her loose ponytail and she tucked up behind her ears every few seconds as she gazed out the window at the twilight sky.

"And then?" Charlie asked, their shoulders creeping up to their ears and slumping back down again. They stood behind one of the chairs, pausing from their pacing to lean with both hands on the chair's high back. "Are we really thinking of getting into whatever this is?!"

Cleo pressed her palms over her eyes, the world suddenly becoming too overwhelming all at once. "I don't know. I don't know! You know who we should ask? Maybe the mystery boy who brought us here in the first place!" She rose sharply from the couch and walked in a circle around it, having nowhere else to put her boiling energy. "He shows up in my dream, talking in cryptic messages but never giving us a straight answer about what we're doing here. He's probably tired of our questions by now- sorry for freaking out about realizing you're not human! How inconsiderate of me to bother you like that!"

She was practically yelling by the end, sure in the back of her mind that Cassian could hear her. Part of her wanted him to hear.

She planted her feet and leaned against the window frame, crossing her arms and chewing her lip. Every muscle in her body ached from the strain of having her world expand so far so quickly. She stayed still, silently fuming, feeling the eyes of her friends on her but she didn't meet them. She stared at the floor, taking deep breaths to calm her edgy nerves.

"I'm scared. I'm terrified to go to sleep tonight. And the next, and the next. How do I say no to this? How can I walk away when I know it could just follow me when I fall asleep?"

A long silence filled the space. No one moved. All Cleo heard was the sound of her own breathing.

"I think we should add another question to our list," Charlie said softly, after a long while of silence. "Why us? I mean, I know we're here because we somehow saved dream boy-" that made a smile tug at Cleo's scowl, "-but why did he call you? Clearly he has other champions on his side. Not that you aren't... you know what I mean."

Cleo just nodded, and silence filled the room once more.

"We should know what they want us to do before we agree," Andy said from across the room. Both Cleo and Charlie looked up at her, so she added, "Or disagree. Although, I've already made up my mind. They're doing the right thing, these people, and the way I see it... we can't just go back to normal and pretend none of this exists. We can't walk away." Her expression turned stony and defiant. "Plus, Cassian said those demon things would target us now. If these people can help us learn to defend ourselves, we've gotta take that."

They stared at each other for a long while.

"We're really doing... whatever this is?" Charlie whispered.

No one said anything. Their faces answered well enough.

Charlie swallowed, closed their eyes and nodded. "We have to stay together. Promise." They opened their eyes and looked at both their friends. "Promise that whatever we do, whatever they want us to do, we talk to each other first. And we do it together. That's non-negotiable."

Cleo met Charlie's gaze, relief flooding through her and chipping away at the frustration that had been steadily building. "Promise."

Still leaning next to the door, Andy grinned brightly, anticipation and adventure dancing in her eyes. "Promise."