All I Ever Wanted Was the World

chapter 27

Harry say on the edge of the bed, contemplating what he had just uncovered.
"I must be one..." he breathed, feeling the world begin to spin around him.

He felt his eyes become wet, and the tears began to spill down his cheeks. They were wet and cold and overwhelming. They crawled down his skin and tickled him, but all he could focus on was the numb anxiety that began to fill his body.
"I'm one of..." he let out a choked noise and clutched at his hair, squeezing his eyes shut.
His fingers squeezed around the messy tufts of black hair, pulling them away from his scalp.

"Oh my god. I am part of him."
He whispered to himself, thinking about the words that had been exchanged between Dumbledore and Snape. He could remember what Dumbledore had said all those years ago about him and Voldemort having a collection.
Had he known?
How had Harry not figured it out?

He let his head hang, feeling empty as he watched wet spots form into the carpeted ground of the tent. He watched as the fabric turned from a cream color to the color of soil that lacked fertility.
He began to zone out, feeling his thoughts overwhelm him as he sat shaken to his core.
What was he going to do?

He got up from where he sat and couldn't remember what Tom had told him, couldn't even bother to want to think about what he was asked to do or what words had even been exchanged.
He dug through the items he had brought along and found a paper before scribbling messily and tossing it onto the other's bed.
They hadn't even been long out in the forest and here Harry was, acting out on impulse.

He went back to Tom's bed and snatched the paper between his trembling hands, his eyes fixated on the words he had scribbled not too long ago.
He ripped the paper apart and shredded it with malice, the sounds of tears filling the air before he began to crumple it.
He let out a shout and threw the paper as hard as he could, making the light object hit the tent with a small 'thwack' before it fell and hit the floor.
He cursed and let out a cry as he fell to his backside on his own bed, covering his face with his hands and letting his legs hang off the edge of the bed.

It was then the realization had set in.
Dumbledore had this all in his plan, he must have.
He shook in anger as he began to think about it, as he let the thoughts fester in his mind.
Dumbledore did this all on purpose.
Had he planned this from the start? Ever since his parents- his poor, unknowing parents, had been killed?
Was that why he was brought to the Dursley's? Had he ever been spied on?

He took in a deep breath and he felt it then, felt the immense dread setting in as he began to realize that he was a lamb being led straight to the wolf.
He was but a follower to Dumbledore, nothing more than a pawn in his little game of chess, where he wanted the glory and the acknowledgment that he had been the one to best Voldemort.
Harry? Harry was just the boy who lived until he wouldn't be, until he would be killed and then the world would be saved.
The wizarding world.

He felt the weight on his shoulders like he never had before.

He got up and paced the tent, feeling the need to run, to get out and escape. He couldn't deal with his thoughts right now.

It was then that Tom entered the tent, looking lost in thought before he spotted a panicking Harry.
He set aside the pouch of, what Harry presumed to be, rabbits and headed over to the shorter boy.
"What happened?"
The voice brought him back to the real world, and for a moment, he began to snap out of his thoughts.

He was charming as ever, and Harry felt his face become pink as he began to calm down in the presence of the other, feeling a bit embarrassed as he began pushing down the overwhelming feeling of panic and disgust.
He just needed to pretend everything was okay right now. That's all.
"Nothing...I just need sleep and a good wash." Harry responded distractedly with little care, his eyes fluttering shut as a hand appeared to soothe him by stroking his cheek.
"Right."
The taller boy took the other into his arms and pulled him close before resting his chin on the mop of unruly hair.

"Oh." Harry breathed out, and he felt his eyes begin to water just as they had not too long ago.
He wrapped his arms around the larger, former torso, and he pressed into the chest.

"I don't know what's going on with you..." the deep voice tumbled through the chest and Harry felt safe, the heavy vibrations soothing against his head.
"But I am physically here. This isn't a very...preferable scenario to be in, but we have each other, more so you have me. I don't fear anything but losing you right now."

Harry froze.
Was Tom showing compassion and care?
"Really?"
He murmured, taking a step back but not letting go of the tall boy as he peered up at him.
"You really mean that?"

"Of course."
Tom looked shocked as well, as if he had not even expected the words to come from his own mouth.
"Thank you." He said simply, not bothering to be shocked any further as he hugged him tightly.
"I don't know where I would be if you hadn't saved me that time.." he started, and he could feel the warm, larger body suddenly become tense.
"I was on the verge of death, you know. I would've been killed in that instant- and I nearly was." He continued, his eyes becoming misty and he began to think about the haunting memory of the events.
"You saved me."

"You forget," Tom pulled away this time, hands resting on Harry's shoulders as he looked into his eyes earnestly, "-that you held up my future self. You talked back to him and didn't give in. You kept going. You pushed yourself. You bid yourself time for something, and it was that opportunity that allowed me to save you albeit unknowingly on your part."
Harry stood there, his head feeling empty as he simply absorbed what Tom shared.

"You are indescribably amazing." He whispered, his eyes were glued to the green that filled with confusion.
"You have survived countless attempts of murder and have escaped death. You are absolutely breathtaking, Harry. You must know you are an absolute marvel."

The dark-haired boy stood there in shock, staring at Tom as if he had two-heads.
"Are you okay?" He asked incredulously, grasping Tom's face with both hands and bringing him down as he observed him for anything that seemed out of place.
"I'm just fine." Tom scowled, but did not move out of the confines of Harry's hands.
"You've been very... open recently. Forgive me, I just.. you're never- you've never been like that." Harry said slowly, his fingers sliding off of Tom.
"Right, well, forgive me for being so forward." Tom said after Harry paused as if to think over his words.

"No, no. I apologize. I just mean- thank you. Your words are extremely needed right now...I...." Harry stumbled over his speech and instead gave a small smile to the scowling face that slowly began to fall.
Maybe Harry was at least a bit attracted to the handsome young man who stood in front of him, and who could blame him?
Tom observed him, and he seemed to be hungry.
But not for food.
Harry gulped.