You don't know me

The funerul

"She was amazing. I will miss her forever, I will never ever stop thinking about her." My mother said as she sniffled and tears ran down her face. " I don't understand how god can take such an amazing angel away, she was going too change the world with her creativeness and her strong will and her amazing cooking" my mom couldn't help but giggle. As she was talking I looked and watch who all showed up too the funeral, I sat with my immediate family as I heard my little sister (katlynn) cry in my ear while my father watched my mom speak with tears in his eyes. As for me I toned out anything my mother said because all I could do was blame myself for my sisters death. As I looked around I noticed my sisters best freind scarlet seating in another row across from me. As she watched my mother speak she blew her nose in a tissue and started crying uncontrollably. I saw that everyone from my class and other acquaintances from my school were at my sisters funeral and some who did even talk too her or Acknowledge her, this made me enraged. I then saw my old freind (ex) staring at me as if he wanted me too cry, I looked him dead in the eyes as I saw guilt in his. He didn't treat me right and my sister told me and told me that he was a bad person and I didn't listen too her and now every time I looked at him I felt as if I wanted to punch him in the face a million times. As I stared into his eyes I slid my finger down my face as if a tear rolled down my face mocking him as a tear rolled down his face. I looked back over too my mom as she was staring at me with mad eyes, I looked at her as she was still speaking of my sister. Then my mother called for scarlet too speak as my mother walked back too her seat right next too my father and scarlet went up too the stand. Before she could even say anything she started too break down and cry as I watched her then she looked me and I nodded my head encouraging her too speak and she started sharing memories she had with my sister. " I remeber when we were 13 and I slept over at her house and we played cards against humanity even though we weren't allowed too and Hannah had the most funny card" she said as she laughed and cried at the same time. " looking back at those times it pains me too realized I will never hear her laugh, or her joking insults too me and brea. She was so funny and bright, and she brought a smile too me everyday. I don't understand the whole situation because she seemed happy. She would always tell how she was so excited too get married and have babies and how we were going too live right across from each other" scarlet then started crying non-stop and her mom wrapped her arm around her shoulder and Brought her to her seat. Then my mother poked me with her finger and gestured it too the stand, I slowly got up and walked too the stand as I looked into the quiet cold funeral home and watch everyone cry. " s-she was great." I studdered " I'm shocked so many people came knowing the fact half of you never even cared for her but that's all right I guess" I said with an angry look on my face. I then turned about too see my sister laying in her casket and then turned back around facing the crowd once more. " I wonder if anyone has ever discover the meaning of life, because I don't think there is one really." I sad looking down on the stand trying not too look at the people I cared for as tears ran down there faces. " I mean all we do is eat, sleep, fall in love, regret our choices, then we die. That's what we do our whole lives. All I can do is sit and wonder what I did she make my sister slit her wrist in the bathroom as I had no idea what she was about too do" I said as the tear I cried all day rolled down my face. " it's funny how a person can hide their feelings so well." I said as my voice broke down. " I loved her mom" I said as my voiced cracked and my eyes pooled with tears. My mom got up and walked over too me trying too hug me but before she could I ran out the funeral home and sat on the curb as it was pouring rain and I watched the cars drive by thinking too myself how I hated her for leaving me.
***
It was two days after the funeral and I would just stay in my room and star at all my sisters stuff as I thought of if my mom would take them down. A tear rolled down my face as my mom called me down from my room. As I got up too walk down stairs I stepped on a old picture of her and me when we were little. I looked at it for a second then rage grew in me and I ripped it up and threw in the trash beside my bedside. I continued too walk down the stairs and headed too the living room where my mom was. When I got in there I saw my ex ( kris) and his mom ( Kelly) she was best friends with my mom. When Kelly saw me she held her hands out and pulled me in for a hug I didn't hug her back. She then sat back down on the couch and kris just stared at me with is eyes stilled filled with guilt. " we were wondering if you wanted too come too the store with us, and maybe talk too kris and pick some stuff out" my mom say nicely. " I'm good" I said as I turned around but before I could walk my mom said " well too bad your coming" I turned around in disbelief, with a annoyed face and rolled my eyes as I walked outside as everyone followed. I opened the car door too see my katlynn sitting in Hannah's old spot. " what are you doing?" I asked angerly. " sitting?" Katlynn said confused. " why are you sitting right there" I said. " oh I didn't know I wasn't allowed" she said as she didn't move and followed behind " I'm not moving, I'm alowed too sit here jerk" as anger fill my eyes I breathed in and got in the back seat hoping no one sat by me but sure enough kris did. On the way there I looked over at him and saw him staring at me. " do you have a staring problem or something god" I said annoyed. " I'm sorry, it's just weird how you haven't really cried and I'm trying too figure- " how about you mind your own business, I don't even know why your care you were a jerk too both of us, just because she's dead doesn't mean I'm going too suddenly forgive you" I said cutting him off with my arms crossed on my chest turning and looking out the window. " I'm sorry" he said looking away, I didn't say anything.
***
We got too the store and I just followed my mom and Kelly as kris tried too talk too me but I ignored him and walked away. When my mom was done we all followed her too the cashier. I stood on the side of her watching the cashier. The cashier kept looking at me and then the third time she did I looked her in the eyes as we held contact for a couple seconds. " you have the saddest eyes" she said as she looked at me with horridness, I looked at her once more then walked at the store not waiting for my mom. As I walked too the car my eyes started filling up with tears and I soon broke down on the hard black top of the parking lot. Kris came running out and just... hugged me. He hugged me for maybe two seconds until I shrugged my shoulders and got up from the ground wiping the tears of my face and walking into the car. Soon my mom, Kelly, and katlynn walked out and unloaded the groceries into the trunk Then leaveing too home.
Silence
As soon as we got home I walked into the house as my my mom yelled too come help I just ignored her and went too my room then laying on my bed and fell asleep.

I hope you liked this I have many more chapters I don't really know what I'm doing right now so if you have advice please tell me
K bye.