but you do (bxb)

꧁ act I ꧂

"You know I'm not gay. I'm not sure what you think I am, but you're wrong.." August laughed, almost in disbelief that this was even happening.

"I don't care if you're fucking gay-"

"Well I'm not , and even if I was, I would never fuck you.." august laughed again from pity.

"Well sucks for you, because you already have fucked me. You know what you are-"

August laughed and gripped onto the other tugging him back, his smile was wide and he couldn't stop thinking about how fast his heart was beating in his chest, whatever it was, he liked it. "Come on, you know you can't stay mad at me.."

"Yes I can, I most definitely can and I will, there's no doubt in my mind.." Joseph seemed happy, at least in the other males eyes. He couldn't get Joseph to stop smiling, that seemed like a good sign.

"Fine then, I guess I'll have to go fuck someone else then-" he pulled his hands back, but Joseph leaned in for a small peck to his lips.

"You can't get away from me that easy.."

Why were these memories flooding his mind now? It's not like the connection between the two was ever fake, he knew what they were, but they kept coming.

Joseph laid down on the others bed, he head against the others lap as august ran his fingers though his hair. "You still don't get to decide everything.."

"Yes I do, I decide because you have horrible taste in everything.." that got him a smack to his forehead, it was playful and the small sting made the taller male laugh. He was definitely happy. Wasn't he?

"I have good idea, how about you shut that big mouth of yours and give me the remote, I make the rules, this is my house after all.." the male under him laughed and leaned up, planting a small kiss to his lips before handing him the remote.

"Please god just don't do another romance movie, I want to watch a comedy.." he grumbled. Joseph was definitely used to getting his way, especially because he was an only child. But he was willing to sacrifice his bratiness just because he knew that a romantic movie would definitely get August in the mood.

Now that the other looked back at some of these memories, they ran by so quick, maybe it was a pattern.

"So what, was the only thing you wanted from me sex?" But that question just brought more memories to the surface.

August smiled and leaned over giving him a small kiss, they were laid out on the bed, Joseph's mum was downstairs so drunk she couldn't hear the tv in front of her, so how could she have been able to hear her son ramming another kid from a block over.

"What was that for?" The raven asked, confused because the kiss seemed so random.

"Not sure, just felt like it.." he mumbled, august picked up his own hand and moved to graze it over the others back muscles. "You know... you've always gotten your way.. especially with me, I mean damn, look at that handsome face..." he then moved his hand up to the others jaw, running his thumb over the curve, it was sharp unlike his own.

"I know, that's how it is mostly when I get with people... but I think you were the best decision I've ever made"

August thought that meant he loved him, or even liked him in some way, but now it was clear to him that the other didn't see him as anything more then a warm mouth and a nice ass

"You know I-"

"Was all you wanted from me sex, answer the damn question, Joseph.." at this point august wasn't upset, he wasn't going to wallow, he wasn't going to feel sorry for himself, but he really did want to get out of that car.

"Yes. I don't like guys, I told you that, what, were you in love with me or something?" August glared at him when the older chuckled at his own words. He was laughing?

"Eat a fucking dick.." he looked around the others car for a moment before opening the passengers door and stepping out, grabbing his bag,

"Aug-" but the door got slammed and he began to walk down the sidewalk, but another memory came when he heard the others door open up.

"You're not fooling me, you know nothing about Math, you're horrible at it if I'm honest..." august sat in the library with the other, looking over his homework. He liked math, but these equations seemed difficult somehow.

"No I'm not- come on, give me one chance, I'll knock you out of the park.." August rolled his eyes and began to let the other teach him, he was surprisingly good at it, where was this coming from, he remembered the first time they studied together, Joseph was the one who needed help, so what was this.

"How do you know how to do this so well.." he asked, kinda confused.

"I've just been studying a lot more I guess, no reason.." but august didn't believe that, but he also didn't push. Because he knew the other would definitely say some bullshit. Was it because he didn't want to look dumb in front of him? Did he want to show off?

Or was that all in his own head?

"August! Come on, get back in the car, I'm not gonna let you walk all the way home.." august looked back to the taller male and laughed.

"Jesus, what the fuck else do you want from me? Want to fuck me one more time or what? We can do it right now in the the fucking car, I don't have a problem with it, but you're not gay right? Then how is it that you can get your dick up when you're around me, huh!? But right, I'm supposed to believe youre not gay?!" He raised his voice, but by the end of the rant he was breathing heavy and tears were coming to his eyes.

"August, please just let me drive you home.." he whispered, looking down to the other, his hand reached up to the others face, but was immediately smacked away. He wiped his eyes quickly and looked up.

"Fine..." he said, he was out of breath, but he stomped over to the passengers seat and got in. He looked out the window the entire time he was driving, he didn't give the other a glance. Why should he. Another memory came to his mind on the way there.

Joseph snickered a small bit and grabbed the others cheek, august furrowed his brows and laughed. "What are you doing?" He asked, his voice was dry, but so was his throat because of the way the other had been staring at him.

"I want to kiss you.. tell me it's okay to do that" August chuckled a small bit and looked around his room nervously, but soon looked back to those green eyes.

"Yeah.." he said, but then almost immediately, a kiss was pushed against his lips, and he pushed back, his mind became dazed and his lips soon fell back, staring at him, very shocked. "Do you-"

"I liked that.. I want to kiss you again.."

August thought about that day, the first day that they had ever really done something. He now looked back at that with a sour taste in his mouth, he glanced over to him as he pulled up to August's home.

"August, I just want to-" but he was interrupted.

"No, I don't need whatever bullshit words will come out of your mouth, I don't want to think about you ever again.." he snapped. "Stay the fuck away from me.." he opened up the car door and stepped out, he walked inside, stomping his way up there, hearing the car drive off when he got to the door, but as soon as he was in the safety of his own home, he leaned against the front door, tears welled up in his eyes and he began to sob. He couldn't help it, this wasn't what he wanted, this wasn't what the other had shown him all those times together. There was nothing he could do about it either. But that's when he heard his mother call out.

"Auggie? Sweetheart?" And when she saw him up against the door, broken, she didn't ask questions, she ran to him and immediately hugged him, letting him cry into her shoulder. "Shhh- baby, it's okay... it's okay.."

But August knew. He knew it wasn't okay.

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(Phew, done :) I'm kinda proud.

I yayoo Jamie 🥰🥰🥰)