Mr Hegarty was a sexy fuck and you weren't afraid to admit it. his voice. his eyes. his smile. you were completely and truly captivated. but only fate could bring you together.
yes the cover is mr hegarty and colin the caterpillar's lovechild
as i arrived at waitrose, colin the caterpillar's long chocolatey body caught my eye. we discussed our plans to stalk mr Hegarty and get him to love me, my face flushed red the whole time.
we absent-mindedly stepped into waitrose, examining the tories as they browsed a variety of overpriced chocolate bars. once we reached the cake aisle, colin the caterpillar stopped in his tracks. "whomst the FUCK is that¿" he whispered i stepped forwards, examining the label on the box his eyes were fixed on. "cecil the caterpillar 😡😡" i read
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"ugly ass hoe 🙄" i laughed to colin. "you what the fock did u say about me m8?"" said Cecil, who was quite obviously a stimky boris stannie. Without hesitation i drop kick cecil's clapped ass into the face of an unsuspecting old man. good. fuck waitrose people
we walked out of the shop as we didn't wanna beef wit da manager again
