I Don't Feel the Pain »» roisa ««

Dreams

"Luisa?! What the hell are you doing here?!" I say, my jaw dropping.

She grabbed my waist and pulled me into a kiss.

After, she backed away, and gave me a worried smile.

"Sorry." She apologized. "I just can't believe you're here too. I don't know what's happening."

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"I don't know. But I don't care. I just need to know if you're okay." She replies, grabbing my hands in hers and rubbing the top on them soothingly.

I'm not okay.

But what am I supposed to say?

That I have already died three times and that I'm being tortured by my past?

No.

I cant.

It will destroy her.

She's too delicate.

I take a long breath.

"Besides the fact that I don't know what's happening, yeah I'm fine." I said.

Yes, yes, I know.

I lied to her face.

"Rose, please. You can't lie to me. I asked to see if you would tell me the truth on your own. I know what's happened to you. I've seen it all." She frowned.

What?

How is this possible?

"Lu, how?" I asked.

"Every time I went to sleep, I saw you. The first night I thought it was just a harmless dream-"

"What was the dream about?" I cut her off.

"It... was you. In the hospital. Not a normal one though. It was dark and no one else was around but you and me. Your eyes were shut and I was next to you. Then your eyes opened. But the second they did I woke up in a cold sweat." She described her dream to me.

I could practically see my own face turn to stone with seriousness.

I exhaled.

"Okay. What was the next one about?"

She looked scared.

"It was you with my father. And it seemed like I didn't exist." She shivered at the memory. "You were screaming, crying even. And then... and then you..."

A tear fell from her eye.

"And then I had to watch you kill yourself." She squeaked while trying to blink away the tears. "Your body fell to the floor and I woke up shaking." She gulped.

Oh my god.

I didn't realize she had seen everything.

She must have been terrified.

I instantly hugged her.

"Lu, I am so sorry." I whispered in her ear.

She backed out of my hug and exhaled shakily. "There was... one more dream." Her doe-like eyes looked up to meet mine.

My eyes filled with guilt, knowing what she saw.

She smiled sadly. "I thought the last one was happy at first. We had a daughter, I forgot her name-"

"Delilah." I grinned, remembering my unreal child.

"Yeah." Luisa smirked. "That was her name. Delilah. We lived in LA, had her and you, you were pregnant. Then we fought. But, it didn't feel like me. And I didn't think it was. A-and then y-you..."

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her forehead, holding her close to my chest.

I licked my lips, which were dry from heavy and nervous breathing.

"I'm so sorry, Luisa. I promise, it wasn't you. I swear. I- I would never do that to you." I said softly, rubbing her back.

"I was so scared, Rose. You said you would never hurt me and then, and then that happened and I was terrified." She quietly cried into my shoulder.

God dammit.

I've had enough of this.

Now, it's not only me who's getting hurt.

It's Luisa too.

Stuck dealing with my messes, just like always.

"Luisa I'm so sorry you have to deal with her. This isn't fair to you."

"Who's her?" She asked.

Oh shit.

I just messed up.

And before I knew it, it was coming back to bite me in the ass.

"No one." I replied too quickly.

"Is it the person putting us through this???" She asked angrily.

She backed away and brought her hand up to her head.

"Who would do this?" She yelled.

"Lu, just hear me out-" I reached out to touch her arm.

I wish I never did though.

"Ahhhh!" She screamed in pain as she grabbed her arm where I touched and fell to the floor.

I drew my hand back in horror.

It was an accident.

But I still caused it.

I tried to shake my doubts. "Here." I offered Luisa my hand to pull her off the floor.

She took my hand but she screamed again.

It was the most frightening sound ever.

It was high pitched and piercing.

What have I done?

Why can't I do anything but harm her?

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