Surviving The Blues

28

The theatre is really empty. It could be the movie we chose or the time. It's probably the movie we chose considering this is new york city and it's usually busy in this area. I am slumped down in my seat pulling my coat closer to myself. I don't even know what movie we are watching. It's an action movie I think.

I am only semi paying attention. My mind is drifting to how Glendale number two's leg is slightly touching mines. It's silly, I know, but mind is being distracted by simply things as of recent. I can go into a daze just think about the color green which is understandable considering what happened.

I shake my head trying to get the thought of legs touched out of my head. At first, I thought about moving, but I didn't want to be weird and awkward. I figured I would be making a big deal by moving my leg and I thought, perhaps I shouldn't move it. Then I thought about easing away little bu little and realized that to would drag attention. Then the focus I had on our legs touching gave me a crap. I was so focused on the position of my leg that the temptation caused a cramp.

I reach over and into the popcorn bucket he is holding. I am looking at the screen so I didn't look to realize that Glendale number two and I had the same idea. I immediately, I pull my hand out of the bucket to stop our hands from touching. I facepalm myself and inwardly pray for the movie to be over. I can't concentrate at all. Between the awkward air and my already fragile attention span, a movie wasn't a good idea.

I let out a sigh of relief when the credits begin to play in the screen. I immediately stand up and rush to the bathroom. All the liquids I consumed during the movie is a motivator as well as the awkward air. I wash my hands after peeing. I stare at myself in the mirror. My hoodie is over my head. I had forced my previously twisted hair into ponytail. It's not sleek. My hair was twisted to protect it while I sleep.

I am judging myself in the mirror. I can hear my father asking, "What are you doing with this white boy?" I shake my head, but then his voice floats into my head. "He's going to use you and throw you out." I close my eyes trying to clear my mind. It's not like I like him or anything. It's just I feel like I know what normal is around him. It was the same with his brother. It was a little sense of normalcy I haven't feel since the summer. Sure, I've never been 'normal'. I've never really had friends because they cannot be trusted. I've barely ever expressed emotions. I am always calm. It's robot like to others. It's almost like someone who cannot sense or express emotions. I don't talk about my feels and have barely ever gotten mad. Somehow, I don't feel like my temperance isn't a problem to him like it is to others.

I open my eyes and take a deep breath before exiting the bathroom. Standing outside, Glendale number two is waiting for me. He looks up from his phone and we make eye contact. "Here I was thinking you ditched me." He says.

"I couldn't even though I want to."

"Ouch."

"Can we go?" I ask.

"What you want to do?"

"Go home."

"Nope." He shakes his head. "I'll do even better."

"My dad will kill me if he finds out I am not home."

"Good thing he 'doesn't hit females'." He repeats my earlier statement.

"Glendale number two, I don't think-"He begins to walk ignoring my protest. I sigh and jog slightly to keep up with him. "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

I follow him. I groan when we enter the cold air, but follow behind him. He leads me for blocks until we are at his car again. I open the door and get in. He drives. It's a long drive. Somewhere along the line, I fall asleep again despite sleeping all day.