[29 January 2022]
Dear Jungwon,
Jungwon, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I did something I shouldn't have today. It's just that it's too much. I just can't survive it and I'm totally drained with everything. I don't know who I can talk beside you. I feel cold and you, not responding to my mails, not contacting me... My mind can't take it. My demons slowly consuming me. That's why I did it. I cut myself but not deep enough to kill me. Jungwon, I'm scared. I'm scared what will happen, I'm scared with life anymore. I feel much more disgusted with myself than before. I don't know what I did in my past life to deserve this. I don't think your promise will happen any time soon, or ever. It's not like I am doubting you, no. I am doubting myself. I don't know how much longer I can take, I don't know if I can still continue this suffering, this misery. I'm scared, Jungwon. I'm scared with my father, with the people. I'm scared with my mind. Myself. Its too much. I feel like... I'm alone in this world. I'm alone fighting, battling with my demons and I'm... I'm started losing it. I'm tired but I'm still grasping for the hope of your promise. I hope you're here, beside me, Jungwon. So at least I have my anchor beside me despite of everything. Because I know, I can overcome this if you're here, my backbone. I love you, Jungwon-ah. I miss you. I need you. Please save me...
Your friend,
Hanseol
YOU ARE READING
FOR YOU ; jungwon
FanfictionIn which she always send a letter to her best friend who is currently living in Seoul and is now a famous idol. - Completed.
