I Deserve This - (A Tom x SuicidalTord Fanfic)

Chapter 13

Tom's POV

I had to carry Tord to my bed. I wanted to wake him up, but he looked so peaceful.

I was in the bathroom combing my hair when I heard loud whimpers and screams.

I ran to my room to see Tord curled up in a ball in the corner. I gave me a scared and hurt look. I slowly made my way across the room towards him, and he hid in his hoodie. Gently, I picked him up and put him on my lap.

"What's wrong Tord?"

He sat there shaking and unresponsive. I hugged him tightly to ensure him I wasn't mad or anything.

"I love you Tord. Tell me what's wrong."

He slowly peeked out of his hoodie. "N-no you don't. You said so yourself."

I gave him a concerned look. "Where did you hear that?"

"You said I was an ugly stupid communist and that I should have cut deeper or put my head to Mark's gun."

"I never said any of that! Who put that idea in your head?!"

"You guys don't trust me. You are expecting me to go insane again." He stared off into space as be said this. "Eduardo took over my old army. Pat and Paul hate me. So do you guys..." He trailed off.

"...I should have died slowly and painfully a long time ago..."

I start getting very worried about him as be says this in a monotone voice, trailing off.

"...I should habe never been born..."

"Tord! Snap out of it! I'm getting Edd."

He snapped his head towards me, eyes widening with a blank stare.

"You don't love me." He starts backing away. "Nothing matters anymore." He bolts out of my room.

Tord's POV

I feel as if I'm in another dream. Only it feels real.

After repeating what Tom said in my dream, I kind of believed it. That's what the voices in my head keep repeating.

Kill yourself!

You don't matter.

He doesn't love you.

Your a psychopath.

You should have died a long time ago.

Kill yourself.

I have to end this.

I remembered where I put my old blade. It was hidden at the bottom of my trash can. I could practically hear it pleading. Begging for me to slice my skin open. For blood to pour out of my veins. For me to slowly bleed out.

I turn around and there sits my gun. I pick it up. One bullet left. That's ok. I'll only need one.

I take the old blade and make a long cut down to my elbow joint. Oh, how I've missed this. The sweet relief of pain. The dizziness. The spinning room.

I continue to make deep, long cuts until there is no room left on my arms for more. Huge puddles of blood surround me.

Before I can black out again, I quickly grab the gun and coco the gun. I smile as I turn off the safety and put the end to my head.

Tom and Edd suddenly burst through my door.

💙"TORD STOP!"

💚WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

I look up to them with a smile on my face, the gun still to my head.

"Nothing matters anymore."

I take a deep breath and prepare to pull the trigger. The room won't stop spinning. Tom runs towards me.

"TORD STOP-"

BANG!