Leafpool and Crowfeather's Wedding (Warning: Rated PG for Purple Gorillas)

The Wedding

Leafpool was crying in her bedroom.

"What's wrong, hon?" Crowfeather called from the kitchenette, eating a left-over sparrow burger from the bachelor party.

"Well, all brides cry before weddings, apparently," Leafpool explained. "So naturally I have to do it too."

"That makes sense."

"Dear, did you go to the tailor's? You need to get your tuxedo for the wedding tomorrow," Leafpool mumbled.

Crowfeather sighed. "But I don't want to go to the tailor's! They always accidentally stick pins in my butt."

"....of course it's accidental. You're totally right. It's not that they can't stand you."

Crowfeather's eyes widened. "What?"

"Nothing, sweetie."

"Fine. I'll go to the tailor's." He put on his going-out-of-the-house hat.

"Oh, by the way, it's gonna be a double wedding. Sorreltail and Brackenfur will be our fellow weds."

"Wait, since when?" Crowfeather demanded.

"Since Sorreltail texted me that," Leafpool replied, holding up her iPhone.

Crowfeather rolled his eyes, padding out of the apartment. He walked down the lane and to the bus stop.

"Tawnypelt's Bus Service!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Instantly a bus sped up to him from out of nowhere.

Brambleclaw was driving the bus, shouting, "All aboard! Toot toot!"

"This isn't a train, idiot," Crowfeather mumbled, climbing through and sitting next to Rainwhisker, who was humming cheerfully.

"Where to?" Brambleclaw called to them.

"Tailor's!" both toms shouted.

The bus started moving.

"Hey, why do you need to go to the tailor's?" Crowfeather asked.

"For my sis's double wedding with Leafpool," he explained. "I need a suit made. Why do you need to go to to the tailor's?"

"For my double wedding with Sorreltail," Crowfeather said. "Hey, we're going for the same reason! Cool."

Rainwhisker's eyes widened. "Leafpool's marrying you?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

"Uh, no reason."

Crowfeather narrowed his eyes but didn't say another word the whole ride.

Crowfeather walked into the tailor's. Hawkfrost was sitting behind the desk wearing a fake mustache. "How can I help you?" he said in a fake French accent.

"I need a suit," Crowfeather barked.

"La French-ified jeez! Chill out, sir."

Crowfeather rolled his eyes and sat down as Hawkfrost measured him. "Ah, here is the perfect suit for you!" Hawkfrost murmured, magically making a random suit appear. "Now go away! Thank you, sir!"

He stuck a pin in Crowfeather's butt, and Crowfeather screeched and ran out.

***

"Okay, we have everything set up," Leafpool murmured, looking around at the wedding decorations. Brackenfur and Sorreltail were nearby, squealing.

"When will the guests be here?" Crowfeather said.

He let out a yelp of surprise as all the guests streamed in at once.

"Who's the minister?" Leafpool asked.

"Um...Brokenstar, I think," Sorreltail answered after a moment's thought.

"Okay. We go fiiiiirst!" Leafpool sing-songed. The bridesmaids, Squirrelflight, Cinderpelt and Sandstorm walked her down the aisle to where Crowfeather was.

Brokenstar cleared his throat. "We are gathered here today to...blah, blah, blah....blah blah....blah...Crowfeather, do you promise to fight, get mad a lot, and disobey?"

Crowfeather nodded. "I do!"

"And Leafpool, do you...blah...blah blah?"

"I do!"

"Then I now pronounce you tomcat and mate or whatever. You may nuzzle the bride!"

Crowfeather nuzzled Leafpool, and everyone cheered.

After Sorreltail and Brackenfur were wed, Crowfeather and Leafpool went home to prepare for the honeymoon...