Need • Zarry

12. Something more

The following morning Harry found Zayn up early in the study, sitting at his desk wrapped up in the white blanket from the sofa with a coffee to one side, his fingers swiftly tapping away at the keys of his black type writer. Harry hadn't seen Zayn use it yet, even though he offered it to him to write on numerous occasions, and it seemed like Zayn had finally decided to put some of this thoughts down in ink.

"I made the coffee already," Zayn spoke as he heard Harry's presence stroll up behind him.

"Thank you."

"So...what are you working on?"

"Just some ideas for that fantasy book. I'm thinkin along the lines of a post apocalyptic society," he explained, looking over his shoulder.

"I like that, sounds interesting," Harry remarked, and then Zayn turned all the way around in his chair, his features growing soft as he reached his hand out and grabbed onto Harry's.

"Listen, I'm sorry about last night, for bein moody and shit," he began, sighing slightly. "I really don't want to ruin what we have together so..."

"Me neither," Harry said quickly as he gently squeezed Zayn's hand.

"So whatever we gotta do...I'll do it," Zayn added, flashing Harry an apologetic smile.

"I just think maybe you should go out and socialize more often. We both should."

"Yeah I guess so," he shrugged while Harry leaned in and offered him a small kiss on the lips, just hoping that Zayn could understand that he was only trying to do what he thought was best.

This is the way it has to be.

Zayn was starting to make more of an effort to hang around town, which meant that he was also back to hanging out with Seth and his friends, which Harry didn't particularly enjoy but he had to remind himself that it was his suggestion. He hated that felt jealousy more often than he wanted to, and hated that he sometimes worried that sending Zayn off to have a life without him was going to make him realize that he didn't want to come back and be with Harry anymore.

It stemmed from insecurity on Harry's part, and it also came from a real lack of understanding how relationships worked, especially considering that the bond that he and Zayn had was still undefined. All he knew was that they had told each other that they weren't fooling around with other people, and the more Harry thought about it, the more he realized that they were pretty much in a secret monogamous relationship that they just weren't really talking about.

But even after Zayn would go off to have dinner with Kennedy, Craig and Seth or gone to see a film or went to the Montclair High School's basketball games, he still came right back home to Harry, barreling through the door and drawing him in for a long, passionate kiss that almost always ended up with the two of them in bed, touching each other for hours into the night.

And Zayn would tell Harry how he didn't have that much fun and that he'd much rather be with him, that he didn't feel like he was a normal, 19 year old. Zayn considered himself to be more of an introvert with an old soul, he called it. And that's why he and Harry got along so well because like Zayn, Harry was very much the same way.

But also like Zayn, Harry had taken it upon himself to hang out with James, go grab drinks with Ben and visit with his parents in Winchester. And although they were spending less time together holed up in Harry's house every night of the week, it was making the moments that they did share that much more meaningful.

And Harry was slowly starting to feel himself wanting to give more of himself to Zayn.

Harry turned 29 on the first of February and he had a family party at his Aunt Shirley's house, which Zayn didn't attend because he was working at Jake's Video. But when Harry came home that night he had brought him back a chocolate cake and prepared a special birthday massage, which consisted of a lot of body oil, candles.