Grave Rock: Cemetery Stones

Funeral for a Friend

All day there was a heavy feeling of dread hanging over me. I remember thinking how odd it was that Eden did not come to the gathering after. She had also been very quiet during the funeral. Missy was a total mess and Benji could barely keep up with fresh tissues. She was crying the entire morning and only stopped once we got to Zoe's parents.

Their old home smelt of cedar and lemons with the gossip of the gathered people filling the large halls. My mother had brought the conchas and spent most of the day making sure everyone got one. Benji had four. My mind was all over the place. It was like a hornet nest buzzing with dangerous thoughts. There was that constant pressure from the weight of unseen eyes digging into me.

All my life I had been sort of surrounded by death and gloom. I had always tried to ignore it though it got harder the older I got. Most of my extended family had passed while I was a kid and during my teen years there were three deaths near the high school. A suicide, an accidental death, and a bizarre ailment took the lives of two students and a teacher.

My single living cousin always reminded me of all the deaths. He would often gloat about being the last one. If my father is correct there was even a grade school teacher who passed during recess but I don't remember that. Too many deaths to recount and I feel I still miss a few here or there. I am even named after a friend of my parents who died a day before I was born. 

Zoe had always said it was just coincidence but it followed me all too often for that. A part of me wanted it to be more than that. So I could find a way to stop it. Or at least bury it deep enough to live a life not engulfed in paranoia. I was constantly worrying anyone I know could be next. No matter how strong or new the connection, death would take them just for knowing me. I know now how ridiculous that all was.

When I lived in the city, I filled my mind with new fears. Walking home alone late at night. Taking the wrong subway or train because I was busy day dreaming. All those fears they build up in shows or movies about life in the big city. I didn't have enough space for the looming fear of death. The overwhelming paranoia I had dealt with when I was younger. A fear of things unseen and the hurt of disbelief.

When we were kids we would always venture into the woods and I was always the one a little afraid of wolves or monsters eating us. Benji always reminded me the real fear was a human killer hiding in the bushes. That did not help but it put things into perspective. I was afraid of the unknown. The possibilities of something otherworldly or indescribable getting my friends and me.

As a kid I only saw death as this gruesome ticking clock striking those around me until it got close enough to get me. There was something not so random about all the sudden deaths and loss. I looked for patterns and the only thing that connected them all was me. It made me feel cursed or haunted. I rarely shared this with anyone and I honestly do not know if I ever fully expressed to anyone how deep the paranoia gripped me.

My friends were more grounded. I was the only one who actually believed in the ghost stories we shared and the tales our families passed down. At the funeral there was talk of coyotes but also quiet whispers of something darker. People dare not name it or call it out right but they knew something had preyed on Zoe. They had decided not to show the body at the services. Just a series of photographs from birth to the end of it all. It was odd seeing her life displayed like that.

It made me think of all the times we all hung out together. Photos and memories of distant times that others would not fully understand. A bond beyond words that a picture could not capture. I remember Zoe always laughing when I got too afraid. She would often be hushed by Eden for teasing me too harshly. I forgot how much she did not believe in spirits or anything like that.

As we got older we talked about things like death and the afterlife. Zoe didn't really believe in any of it. She felt that the end was the end. Renee felt a similar way but didn't say it as passionately as Zoe. I know it was a sore subject for Eden and her. Eden was more open. She did not know what happened when we died.

Missy and Tye were always on the fence. They did not believe one way or another. Missy used words like heaven and hell but still was not sure there was an afterlife. Tye and Benji really wanted to see a ghost or at least something paranormal. Benji more so to prove it was all a hoax. He wanted to expose the whole idea of spooks and spirits as fantasy.

I think that was one of the reasons we explored abandoned places and buildings with little concern. We all wanted to find our answers to the bigger questions. Eventually it just became a thing we did. Until that night back in junior year of high school. That was when we all began to drift apart and stop talking. I was the first to see the cracks in our bond.

As I listened to family and friends share memories, my mind drifted back on a photo of us together junior year. It had to have been taken a month before we did the dare. The one that made me see that they would never believe me and had never believed me. All the moments hung up on black cardboard made me remember why I left them all behind. Why the bond was strong but maybe like a memory, something better left in the past.

I had ventured with Tye and Missy into Zoe's old bedroom. She had stayed with her parents on weekends so it was filled with old and new belongings. Benji had already let himself in when we entered the room. He was sitting on the bed looking at a yearbook. Missy joined him as I looked around the room.

The dresser had a few things of makeup and it looked as if she had just left. I thought to myself that Zoe was probably staying with her parents more than we thought. Eden was silent that entire day but was it from sorrow or anger? My thoughts were broken between my friends talking and the moments back when.

As I looked over the things left on the vanity I saw it. Cold like winter burst across my back and over my body. It was but a single stone left forgotten by some jewelry. Though I had it pictured different in my memory, it was one of the stones. I don't know if I screamed but everyone reacted like I had. Tye saw it immediately, moving over to it but not touching it.

The square cut rock with yellowish markings sat there like an unwanted guest. Faded and weathered, the etching on the one side was still visible. The forgotten gravestones we had found when we were kids. Markers left abandoned and slowly covered up by time.

Benji laughed and grabbed it without hesitation. He proclaimed to not believe she actually did it. Zoe had stolen one of the grave rocks. I was in shock as was Tye. Missy was still unsure of what it was but was shocked to see it there. I was the only one calling it a gravestone. Much like before when we first found them.

The night when we were dared to stay in the graveyard. Zoe and Renee found the first one. Benji uncovered the rest. Ten stones in two rows lined up near the graveyard but just outside the iron fence. They had no names nor dates but markings that could have been letters or numbers long ago. The weather was not kind to the stones and their writing was blurred.

That was why Zoe and Renee did not outright believe they were gravestones. Benji thought they were but not real ones. Ones possibly left behind from a movie set or some prank. Even after what happened they still did not believe. Everyone claimed not to know about Zoe stealing the stone. I felt a horribly wretched pain in my gut.

I walked out of the house without saying anything to anyone. My feelings were bubbling over and I could feel the eyes of someone watching me dig into my skin. Outside I caught my breath and looked at the cloudy sky. It was like before. I was the only one truly afraid of the stones. Of the unknown. Of why Zoe had it in her room.

After a few minutes Ty joined me. We talked and I felt a bit of comfort. Terence understood where I was coming from and for the first time I finally said how I had felt. The way I did back then and how I felt now. I told him all about the ghosts and phantoms I saw that night long ago. I wasn't afraid to tell him because a part of me knew he wanted to believe. He was still unsure of what happened that night long ago but we would find out what happened to Zoe together.

We agreed to go back to the graveyard and those forgotten stones the next day. I wanted to keep talking to him. I had begun to realize I was believing in the wrong things. There was something between the two of us and I felt it. I was just afraid to face it. I turned those fears and doubts into real ghosts and phantoms that began to haunt me.

All the moments I had let go or passed by because I was afraid. I could believe in demons and cryptids but not believe in love. Not believe in something that was sitting directly in front of my face. Again my head became clouded with a million broken thoughts. My heart was clear. It knew what it wanted and I decided to not let fear hold me back. The next day would be the start of a massive chain reaction.