Once a Death Eater...

Chapter 18 - Things we Say in the Dark

The rest of the day was slow and uneventful. The group of eighth year spent a nice lunch together before they had a two hour period in Charms class. After Charms, they had Divination and then finally Astronomy. It was a pretty boring day to how it started but Harry couldn't care less because Draco made anything interesting.

The two boys settled back in their dorm after a long day studying and gazing into each other's eyes. Falling into their bed exhausted. While Draco wanted to take Harry's cock into his mouth and/or ass he was just too tired, so with a loving smile and a stroke of his cheek Draco kindly told Harry to, "wank one out in the en-suite."

Draco undressed, folding his robes neatly and climbing into bed. He picked up his current reading book and started on the chapter he left off as he watched Harry from the corner of his eye move to the window, watching the night sky paint the landscape in a ghostly glow.

They stayed like this for sometime, Draco reading and Harry looking out of the window. What could be so interesting about a full moon, Draco thought. It didn't concern him until he caught a glimpse of Harry's eyes, glazed over and watery. Was Harry crying?

"Harry, honey? You okay?" Draco asked cautiously, getting out of bed slowly and making his way across the room to take Harry into a soft embrace.

"Yeah, course I am, I'm fine." Harry responded, confident. The tears from his eyes seemed to have vanished quickly. Draco was sure he was hiding something though.

"Well if you're sure, come to bed yeah?" Draco asked, wanting to pull those green eyes from whatever memory they were really watching. A good night sleep should do them good.

Harry undressed and the two boys climbed into their bed. The other bed in the room had largely been unused for most of their time in this dorm because they're so fond of sleeping together. They turned out the light and both relaxed, cuddling into themselves and falling into a deep sleep.

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It was late and dark. The full moon throwing shapes and shadows through the room and casting ghostly projections into the dorm. It painted their little dorm in a pallor, not as cosy as it was during the day but almost like it had a sickness? Spooky was probably the best word to describe this twilight scene.

Draco was rattled awake suddenly, jerked to the side suddenly and hitting his head from the wall he was lay next to. Then a whimper, a half-yell. Draco shot up trying to regain his awareness, he was groggy from sleep and a little unsure of where he was. The convulsing next to him directed his attention however. It was Harry. Sweating and crying and still asleep.

Draco sat up dumbly for a moment, sleep in his eyes, trying to decipher what is actually happening. It finally fell into place. Harry was wrapped in the unmistakable torrent of a nightmare.

Draco softly shook Harry's shaking body but he didn't react, he could hear Harry whimpering softly, crying. It broke Draco's heart to see Harry in so much pain.

"No Remus, ahh Fred." He whimpered in his sleeping state.

Draco shook Harry a little harder. Calling his name softly trying to lull him out of the nightmare consuming his thoughts. After a few moments of shaking and whispering by Draco, Harry's eyes sprang open. Green met grey, but Harry want himself, he was scared and obviously confused. Draco brought his hand up slowly to stroke Harry's face and Harry flinched away.

Draco wouldn't hurt Harry, it made him want to cry seeing Harry like this.

"It's me darling Draco, you were having a nightmare." Draco began, looking into Harry's eyes and rubbing his biceps comfortingly.

After a few moments of Draco whispering sweet things to Harry, the light came back into his eyes. His breathing regulated. He was suddenly much more aware.

"Draco." Harry breathed out in almost relief.

"Harry." Draco whispered back, hugging him tightly. "You were having a nightmare." He continued softly, rubbing circles into Harry's arm.

Draco pulled back looking into Harry's eyes. He could see sadness in them. Harry shouldn't be sad. He deserves happiness.

"Will you tell me what it was about? You were saying names?" Draco started, he didn't want to push Harry but he did want to make sure everything was alright.

"I have nightmares occasionally, I think it was triggered by the full moon tonight. It reminded me of Lupin and how so many people died for my sake. It was my fault." Harry said quietly, voice shaking slightly as he looked out the window trying to avoid Draco's eyes.

"Darling, you shouldn't blame yourself. We all did things that we regret. The best we can do now is try to rebuild and live happy lives, I suppose. You deserve happiness." Draco said slowly and passionately. Harry looked back into those grey eyes to see so much concern and love.

It would take time, but Harry knew that Draco was right and that he needed to find a good way to deal with the guilt.

"I love you." Harry said quickly. Eyes locking. It caught Draco by surprise. The raw emotion in Harry's voice.

"I love you too. We should talk about this more in the morning." Draco replied, leaning down for a small kiss.

The two boys lay back down together, Harry wrapped his arms around Draco and they lay there, looking through the window to the glow of the moon.

"You deserve happiness too Draco." Harry whispered into the silver-blonde hair. Draco wasn't too sure about that one, but he hummed back a small response anyway, not wanting to get into that conversation right now.

Eventually, Draco felt Harry's chest rising and falling in a slow, melodic fashion. He could hear slow breaths and knew Harry had fallen back to sleep. He loved this boy who's chest he was laying on and knew that while they both had their problems, together they would be able to make it through and learn to live with the guilt they both carried.

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