Forever & Always

Chapter 6

Date: November 8, 2011
Location: BAU Conference room

JJ's POV

"Hello?" I say

"Is this Jennifer Jareau?" Says the woman on the other line.

"Y-Yes this is she."

"We have your girlfriend Emily Prentiss in our hospital. She's been very badly hurt please make your way over here as soon as possible. The doctor will tell you more when you get here." It was like everything froze. I can't believe it was really her in the car. "Ma'am are you still there?"

"Y-Yes I'll be there in 10 minutes." I hang up, grab my jacket and run out the door with everyone following behind. We all got in our own cars and race to the hospital, Derek and Rossi had made it there first running multiple red lights and pushing their cars to top speed. By the time I got inside Rossi had already got the nurse to tell him her room number.

Just as we get to her room, nurses and doctors start frantically running in there. We watch through the window as they pump her with meds trying to stop her seizure. When they finally stop in and the doctor pulls us into a private waiting room.

"Hi I'm Dr.Choi, Emily's car accident left her with severe brain swelling, that is what's causing the seizures. That's not all, she has 3 breaks in her left leg, her left shoulder is dislocated, 2 of her ribs are broken on her right side, and she has deep cuts all over her body that need stitches." He pauses then looks around at the group. "I don't know which one of you is Jennifer but can you please give us consent forms so I can perform surgery to stop her drain swelling." He holds out a clipboard with some papers on it. Without reading through it I hurry up and sign everywhere he tells me.

"Dr. Choi, how long will the surgery be?" I ask giving him back the clipboard.

"I don't know until I get in there but from the scans, I will say at least 4 hours." His pager goes off "I was going to wait to do the surgery but she having another seizure so I'm going to have to do it now, I have to go." Just like that, he runs off.

I throw myself in a chair and breakdown. Rossi pulls me up into his chest and we stay like this until I calm down, I was still crying just not as heavy. He tells me that we should take a walk and I agree, we stop at a coffee cart just outside the hospital. Then make ourselves comfortable on a bench.

"JJ tell me what's on your mind?"

"In the note, she left she told me to call her if I wanted her to stay and I never did." I take a deep breath "She was on her way to the airport because I didn't call and now she's here..." I point to the hospital "When I read her letter I thought God this wouldn't be happening if Emily Prentiss would've really died. I caused this for her all because I didn't know how to talk to her. I should've called even if I didn't know what to say. The worst part is she thinks I don't love her but I do. If she doesn't make it the last thing she's thought was that's she was unloved by everyone in her family other than you and Hotch but that's not true we all love her." I try to wipe the tears away but there are too many so I just let them fall.

"As much as I want to blame you guys, I can't. No one could've seen this coming, so don't blame yourself. When she wakes up, which I know she will, you guys have to make things right. Not just you but also Derek and Reid, I know they feel bad too I can see it all over their faces..." he grabs my free hand and holds it in his. "I know you still love her, you never stopped loving her but JJ you have to let her back in for her to know that. You not talking to her alone almost killed her, you might not want to hear this but she missed you so much. She had framed pictures of you and Henry on her nightstand when she was living with me. Her computer and phone wallpaper were pictures of the 3 of you together smiling. Please try and talk to her kiddo."

I look down at my cup so he can't see the tears in my eyes. "Ok. I'll talk to her when she wakes up." He nods and we head back to the waiting room.

Three hours later

"Why the hell is it taking so long?" Derek said with agitation filling his voice. He got up and started pacing around the waiting room.

"Derek, sit down your pacing isn't helping. Everything is fine, Emily is fine, ok?" I don't know if I was trying to convince him or myself but eventually, I got him to sit down.

Twenty minutes later Dr.Choi walked into the waiting room but the expression on his face didn't look good. "She's alive but the swelling was far worse than what the scans showed because of this... there's a chance she might not wake up. I'm sorry but we are doing everything we can. You can see her, I suggest one or two at a time we have a lot of things in there keeping her... um, you know." It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I stumbled back to the chairs, pulled my knees into my chest but I couldn't cry it was almost as if I was numb.

They tried to get me to go first but I wouldn't move. I watched Hotch and Rossi go first, they came back pretty fast and even though they are both great at hiding their emotions they couldn't hide it this time. Rossi's eyes were red from crying while Hotch's eyes had tears that were threatening to fall. I can't see her like that. I'm the reason why she's here. Jennifer, what have you done? I was so deep in my thoughts I didn't realize Garcia, and Derek followed by Reid had gone to see her. Rossi walked over to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Kid come on." I shook my head. "JJ I know it's hard but she needs your support, come on you don't have to stay long and I'll stay with you if you want." He pulled me out of the chair onto my feet.

The walk to her room felt like an eternity, we got to the room and her door was closed. I put my hand on the knob but I couldn't bring myself to open the door. Rossi puts his hand on mine and turns the knob. I gasped when I saw her. She looked so pale and fragile, I was scared to get any closer to her, thinking she might break. She had stitched up cut everywhere, her left leg had a temporary cast, her arm was in a sling, you could tell there was something underneath her shirt I assumed they wrap her broken ribs. There were wires everywhere she had multiple IV wires, there were patches with wires coming out of them all over her body, she had a tube going down her throat helping her breathe. Seeing her in this state made me forget how to breathe. Rossi put his hand on my back guiding me closer to her bed. I wanted to hold her hand but I was scared it would hurt her so I just sat in the chair close to her bed with my hands in my lap.

"Em... I don't know if you can hear but I'm so sorry. I was a bitch to you, I know you didn't want to leave us. We should've been thankful that you were still alive and welcomed you back with open arms. I'm so sorry we didn't but baby I need you to fight, I'm not going to say for me because I don't deserve that so fight for Henry. He was so happy to talk to you today, it was the best part of his day. Em... please keep fighting we can work everything out, I just don't want to lose you, no I can't survive if I lose you again. I love you, I swear I do so please don't give up."

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Look out for my one shot story "Me or Him" I should be publishing it on Monday (tomorrow). If I don't then it will definitely be published on Tuesday.