of thoughts, rants, and writings: bant

proletariat shit

why do i feel like it's my fault?

like it's my fault i was born, i have to study, i have needs. i have things that need money. i need the bills to be paid because i need the wifi. i have things need to be bought because i'm studying.

it fucking sucks how my family is suffering because of me. it fucking sucks how it's so hard to request because we're low on money. if fucking sucks i don't get what i want and need because i don't have money or my parents can't get it for me because there are more things that need to be put first.

forever envy those kids who get what they want immediately. who get rewards for having an average grade because me, an honor student, only get food as a reward (ofc i'm not ungrateful, just saying it's kind of envious)

forever envy those kids with nice houses and good rooms. those kids who have printers. those kids who have all they need to be able to study comfortably while i'm here suffering making the best of what i have. it fucking sucks :)

i'm so envious to those kids who immediately have their parents give in to they want. how does that feel? i really want to know. i really want to wake up not worrying about trivial things such as if i am able to eat tomorrow.

i hate having my day ruined because my parents either fought because of money or other things.

you know what, fuck it! fuck sugarcoating.

i fucking wish i was rich, my family was rich. it's so suffocating being poor and only being able to afford the bare fucking minimum.

yes, it's true that we are blessed unlike others but life is stil so so so hard.

in debt, no job, bills to pay, a kid to raise, and so much more.

i'm so sick and tired. i feel like it's my fault.

i fucking envy those kids who live in comfort. with no worries. i fucking wish. what a dream to be like that :)