curses ➵ schlattbur

cuatro ➵ king

the moment alex woke up, he was already being carried down the path of the village by a particularly strong-handed villager. he didn't feel any pavement on his back, thankfully, and upon further inspection the dark-haired boy discovered he was being carried on a cart. a tiny, cramped cart, stinking of old potatoes. it reminded him of his first days not being advisor anymore- nonetheless, he digressed.

he didn't like where this was going, especially since the cart was slowing far, far away from the imposing, dark palace--not as terrifying as pokimane's, but still industrial. and terrifyingly so.

"where are... where are you people taking me?" he whispered, his eyes only half open as he gazed over at the villagers carrying him and then to his mandolin--still cracked, sitting at his side.

one of the villagers, a short-haired, blonde, middle-aged woman, looked at him oddly. "don't you know where all beanie-wearing scum go?" she scoffed. "they go to beanie prison." she said, dead seriousness in her eyes.

beanie prison?

of course. beanie fucking prison. schlatt really was that pissy.

"beanie prison, huh?" alex muttered, a slight smirk growing on his face. he was then slapped sharply by a hard, grizzled arm. the arm of a walking farmer, next to the cart.

"pitiful bard. you mock the creation of the king? beanies are particularly outlawed. they're a taboo here in emonburg. anyone who wears one in public faces a fine of up to 100 pieces of iron." the farmer snapped, the wheat in his mouth almost dropping out with the aggressiveness and intensity of his statement.

"jeez." alex muttered. he rolled his eyes to himself, before clutching his beanie more tightly, as if mocking the villagers--sheep who followed whatever schlatt said. ironic, considering his appearance. as he rolled along, he spoke again.

"anyway, are you sure you want to bring me to prison? beanie prison?" he had a hard time not laughing hysterically at that name. "i know the king personally, and i have an important message for him."

the villagers started laughing.

"you? knowing king schlatt of all personally? ha! i'd believe you more if you said you knew dream himself!" hysterically cackled the blonde woman, wiping tears off her face. "next, you're gonna say you're his advisor or something!"

"ex-advisor." alex said, matter-of-factly. "also, i'm his ex-husband."

they paused in their tracks, and they started laughing. they started laughing more.

"you're using that?! you're using that?!" shouted the farmer, almost howling with hilarity. he shook his head, crying with laughter. "you're impersonating the one person king schlatt despises the most?! are you daft?"

they were shaking with laughter, and the cart had completely stopped moving.

the woman smirked and spoke, barely containing little giggles. "hey! let's bring this clown to king schlatt, then, since he wants to meet him so bad! maybe we'll get a gold coin or two for entertaining him! let's go, sorry little shit! have fun rotting in schlatt's prison later!"

then the cart started moving again, faster this time as the villagers stopped laughing and continued dragging him along. they were eager to receive a reward for making the king cheer up. as the cart moved, alex himself noticed a scroll nailed to a nearby wall. he barely caught a good glance at it, but it was a scroll that offered a reward for entertaining the king. schlatt really had no good entertainment at all, huh? serves him right for treating his subjects like toys, alex thought.