call me by my name | binjin

7. The Green-eyed Monster.

I was going to sleep but then, I thought, no. She here I am with chapter 7. Enjoy!

The aftermath of their actions outside the examination hall did not befall Yejin until nearly a week later from the incident. They had been too close, skins touching, eyes gazing into each other, hands in hands; anyone could have affirmed they were a couple back then. Perhaps she had been too delusional with her thoughts about him, that maybe, she had started speculating too much about him— during classes, at lunch breaks, when they had their study sessions in the library.

Yejin understood that all of these thoughts had contributed to her recklessly childish behavior, resulting in looping her arms around his tall frame that day. On that day, it was just him and her, nothing in between.

The sudden awareness of what had happened that day washed over her like a tsunami in one brief moment. Just one moment of time-lapse, and Yejin had that little moment of epiphany of what she had done that day.

And it had taken none other than her best friend to make her recognize that.

“That tutor of yours,” Ara had slyly asked her while arranging the books on her shelf— picking it up and putting it back in the original place.

“Don’t you think he’s cute?”

At first, Yejin did not comprehend what she was saying, for she was too caught up finishing the questions Bin had assigned to her. She needed to complete them before their next session, which was exactly an hour from now. Approximately a minute or two later, Yejin stiffened. From the corner of her eyes, she glanced at Ara’s form playing with her fingers in her lap, eyes trained down. Her words played in her mind like a forgotten vinyl player on loop, over and over until they scratched the insides of her brain in all possible ways, like sharp fingernails being dragged down on a chalkboard.

She did not like it.

Did she think he was cute? Yes.

Did she want to tell the same thing to her friend? No.

“He is okay,” Yejin told herself more than her friend.

“I have seen better. Besides, he is a nerd.” She tossed the silly word.

“Always has his nose buried in a book. His eyes are always behind those Harry Potter glasses, and oh my god, have you seen his wardrobe? All the man owns is the cutest sweaters! He is more book smart than street smart, you know? He has more pens than he has friends. Plus, he is always so-”

Yejin freezes abruptly upon realizing that she got carried away. True to her thoughts, her friend eyes her from the corner of her eyes, her expressions contoured in confusion.

“I don’t have time for this,” still flustered by her outburst; she gathers her things and her overcoat before heading out the door, hoping to dig up a hole and jump in.

As she walks out the door, she only wishes that Ara doesn’t pick up on what she had just said.

They had agreed to meet at a coffee shop three streets down from their university. They had exchanged numbers before her exams if she needed any help, thus proved to be a silent advantage for Yejin, who did not stop herself from checking his active status on her phone from time to time. Ever since their hug, she had felt this underlying urge to seek him at odd times, which, for her, meant outside of the library or university. As expected, the man did not have a display picture on the social media platform.

Yejin sighed, so typical of him.

At the same time, it also brought a smile to her face. Knowing that she already predicted this about Bin gave her a sense of familiarity. This was the same man who had her stomach in knots for the last week. They had had their sessions every other day, with Bin going that extra mile so that she would understand things clearly. Then, there was Yejin, who focused more on their touching knees (especially that one day she had worn a skirt) and his sandalwood husk rather than what he was telling her. She observed his hand gestures; how minimal they were. The way he would adjust his glasses over the bridge of his nose every five minutes. The subtle bottom lip biting when even the genius in him could not figure out a problem to solve.