Tales of a Girl and a Hanyou

Chapter: 1 -Night Butterflies

-Night-Butterflies-

I didn't know how to describe the sensation I felt in the pit of my stomach every time I saw him. Except that it felt as if I had swallowed a million butterflies. A tickling, tingling sensation promoting the moods of apprehension, fear, and excitement.

When his rare smile came out and looked at me, it somehow felt special to me. As if he was smiling only for me. only to me...

It was a stupid thing to think, I knew that, but even so... I couldn't stop thinking about him. I knew someone else seemed to always be on his mind. It infuriated me at first and at times even now, but I cannot win against her.

I am weak when it comes to love.

When I'm around him I feel different, but it's a good different. I'm at peace with myself. He care for me sincerely.

But never loves me.

In part it's my fault. I may not deny to myself that what I feel for him is love, but I cannot admit it to others. It felt like I betraying someone if I acted on my feelings. It hurts, but even if I can't be held in his arms and hold him close. I want him to be happy. I would not be the one he chose. No, the priestess would win, as she always does.

It is one more bitter resentment I hold for the priestess Her lure and charm are traits I secretly wish I had, but don't. At times I even wish for her her silent grace. However, though bitter I may be, I think our silent voice may be one trait that we share... except of course, she in a much more calm and collected manner.

Those damn butterflies.

He gazes at her with love, in that caring manner he showed no other.

The only thing I can do is to smile and welcome him back as he returns. I felt he got enough  criticizing from Kagome and the others. I had no right being a hypocrite. You have no power over who you love...

I ask myself why am I here? Why do my feelings put me thourgh this? Was it not enought I put my life in danger fighting demons? There have been times when my mask crumbled and left is a scared girl in the wrong time in history.

If Kagome have not been there or Sango, to listen to my troubles. He would stay close letting me cry. He didn't cuddle me if he thought my worries was stupied. I appreciate that, I felt like I grew a little from him being that way. He still don't know how to deal with people. But I think some tuff love is still way to show you care about someone.

When I see him in that frail state the butterflies activate again, but in a retching manner. I want to see his smile more. I want him to be genuinely happy. I will support him when he found someone even if he chooses Kikiyo or Kagome. Because I want him to be happy

He had been a light that pushed away the darkness, in this scary new timme. He showed me that there was so much more to people like him. Over time I have slowly learned how to survive here, and love the beauty of this era because of him.

"Y/n?"

His voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I turned around seeing the hanyou who caught me off guard. Then again, he always seemed to catch me off guard. 

"Oh, Inuyasha." Inuyasha stared at me, one of his dog ears twitch when I said his name. The tingling sensation in my stomach again. Those butterflies had not died. "Do you need something?"

"I was looking for you..." Folded his hands in his sleeves, he sat down next to me.

"I see..." Turning my head just a little to hide the blush that was slowly surfacing. Good thing the evening was dark. Damn those butterflies. My eyes went back to the glimmering heavens, "I just got the urge to watch the stars. I had a feeling soon we coudn't watch them anymore."

"Heh, that stupied. Their not going anywhere so you can look at them as much as you like." Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"I don't mean in that way, Inuyasha." I smiled, looked into those golden eyes.

"What do you mean then?" I asked in a slightly irked tone.

"I just mean our battles is getting harder. I can't afford to let my guard down..." My smile dropped, biting my lip as I looking down.

And I can't let my feelings get in the way.

Apprehensively I turned face to Inuyasha to apologize, but then felt someone grab my hands. That when I realized my hands were shaking. Looking down to his hands to then look up at his face, that came closer towards me. Nervously I eyed him, heart pounding as he neared. The butterflies thrashed around my stomach, some inching their way up my throat.

He stopped a mere inches from my face with a serious look in his golden eyes. "I won't let anything happen to you. I'll protect you Y/n. So you can let your guard down when your with me, you got that?"

"Uh, um... Uh..." Butterflies threatened to spill out my mouth though as I looked at his serious eyes. I swallowed, trying to force them back down. "T-thank you." I finally got words out.

He moved back and let go of my hands, I missed their warmth already. "And thank you for keeping me company."

"Yeah, well, not staying," Inuyasha replied gruffly, who got up already facing to leave.

"Inuyasha?"

"What do you want now?" he demanded, patience short. Was that a blush on his face? It was too dark to really tell.

"Did you come looking for me, because you were worried about me?" I asked standing up, while brushing grass off my clothes.

"No." He huffed out a little too fast. Turning his back towards me.

"Right, thanks anyway."  I mummbled with a smile, more to myself than Inuyasha. Thought his ears twitched, he crossed his arm and stared to walk back. I hurriedly followed, walking in steep beside with him.

The butterfllies kept on fluttering.