surrender|| draco malfoy

chapter 11

Dracos PoV
The sheets are wet.
My hair is stringy with sweat.
Dark.

I am standing in a forest, by a lake. My head snaps around as a smokey shadow appears, completely enveloping me and knocking me off my feet. Making me splutter and try to catch my breath, though no air is seeping down my throat as my lungs begin burning. In front of me, I can make out Celeste and Cedric in the pale haze.

"She was better off without you. Happier." He spits.

"How could I like you, who are you compared to Cedric Diggory?" She looks at me with so much disgust in her face.

"Your father confessed, he would've preferred me as a son." I feel as though I've been punched in the stomach.

"What girl would take you? You are nothing. Nothing. Nothing compared to him."
Celeste.

And now they're kissing, and I swear to god, every bit of my body starts aching. My skin is burning. I can't speak, everything comes out in a whisper and tears start streaming down my face.

I wake up and my pillow is wet.

Stumbling into the bathroom, my eyes are red and puffy and there are tear streaks down my pale burning cheek. I feel disgustingly sick and for a second I can feel the chunks rising in my throat, but I lie back down in bed and stare at the ceiling until the room eventually stops spinning and I stop sweating.

I can't stay in bed any longer.

I pull on my robes and get ready for the day and pace around the room for a bit, contemplating going to Celestes room to see if she's up, but I know it's way too early and she's probably sleeping. I rummage through my bag and pull out a notebook and a quill and some ink and begin writing.

I'm sorry for shouting at you last night. I was just so upset that Flint told me you kissed Cedric. I don't know if it's true or not, but my mind is convincing me it is. I guess I have a big thing on trust, and it takes me a while to get close to people, maybe it's because I've never really had a good relationship with my parents.  

What the hell am I doing? I can't say that to her.

Celeste,
I'm sorry if I overreacted and upset you last night. I didn't mean to shout at you, but I was just so angry with the possibility that you kissed Cedric. Part of my mind is telling me that you did kiss him, but the other, and bigger part is telling me that you wouldn't hurt me like that. I'm still debating on which one to listen too. The truth is, I'm crazy about you. Absolutely fucking crazy. A day I go without seeing you, feels like a waste and is pointless. You drive me insane, you're funny, kind, trusting, and even when you annoy the shit out of me, I can never stay mad for long because even looking at you, makes me happy. I'd probably never say this to you because it's weird and I'm not really the most affectionate person, honestly I'd try to tell you that I like you but accidentally tell you to go fuck yourself, or pitch yourself off the astronomy tower. But I guess that's just because the only way I know is to be a dick. And I'm sorry. But you hurt me. Really fucking badly.

I tear the page out of my book, crumple it up, and stuff it in my robe pocket.

When I walk into the common room, Celeste is sitting by the fire, curled up in a chair, doing some sort of homework or whatever. I stand there for a second and just look at her, not really knowing what to do. The nightmare from last night crawls back into my head and I shiver. She turns around and looks at me, not saying anything. It's excruciating. She stands up from her chair, not taking her eyes off me, she grabs her bag and takes off for the door.
"Wait, Willow-" I call. But she's already disappeared.

I follow her out the common room, down the stairs and out the courtyard but stop dead in my tracks when I see her talking to Cedric.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I walk over to them, but this time I'm not talking to Celeste, I'm talking to Cedric. The anger is bulking inside of me and my blood turns boiling hot, I'm surprised it's not turning into steam. I place my hand on the small arch of her back and take a step forwards.