Gravity (Male x Male)

Chapter 15 - The Black Sheep

"You're not the first person to fall for him, and I suspect you won't be the last," Mia assured me as we continued our conversation while sitting on the storage boxes in the hanger. "But if it helps, as far as I can tell, you are the first one he's fallen for. I haven't seen him reciprocate before. I didn't even know he could."

That got my attention. Mia had just managed to address a concern I didn't realise I had. One of the things I'd believed once we'd started our relationship was that he liked me back, the same way I liked him. And somewhere in those smoky thoughts that I hadn't quite been able to keep hold of, was the question of whether those feelings had been fake. How much of what I'd experienced had been simulated? Just the exterior, or the emotions too?

"How can you tell whether he actually likes me?" I questioned, recognising this was something I needed to know. "He might have kissed me back because he thought it was some human custom, rather than because he actually wants a relationship with me. He doesn't talk about his feelings much."

"He doesn't, but that doesn't mean they're not there. You'll just have to take his word for it. Trust is part of building a relationship," she pointed out. "But if you want my opinion, I do think he likes you the way you want him to."

"What makes you say that?"

"Has he told you he has no conscious control over his shifts?"

"Yeah," I nodded in response to that, remembering his comment about turning into a mouse.

"As far as I understand it, Vacillators shift intuitively, according to what is likely to give them the best outcome," she explained. "They don't have a set form that they go back to because it requires effort for them to shift. A bit like it take effort for your heart to pump blood around your body. It needs to be efficient, and it's not efficient for them to change their appearance if there's no perceived benefit. So, once a particular form has served its purpose, they just stay in it until the next time there's a perceived advantage to shifting."

"OK," I said, not really feeling like she was answering the question. Or maybe she was trying to tell me something and I wasn't grasping it. Either way, I was sure I looked confused.

"So, what does Keleon currently look like? Is he still looking like a Kikorangi, or is he looking like your human boyfriend?" she asked.

"He looked human when we landed," I replied.

"Can't you see? If Keleon was behaving 'normally,' he'd still have blue skin. He must have had a reason to shift back to this human form." Mia smiled gently and took my hand in hers.

"Are you saying he shifted back for my benefit?"

"Sort of, although it won't have been done on a conscious level. Vacillators are like a form of advanced chameleon, which adapts to its surroundings to help it blend in. It's not deliberate, they just do it; it's an instinct that's built into them. The meditation they do, helps them 'tune in' to their surroundings and helps their subconscious make better decisions. When he came to get you out of that research facility, his sole purpose was to get you to follow him out of there. So, he took on a form that best suited his purpose.

"Now that you're out of there, what's the point in shifting back to that form again? It's not like he's trying to get you to follow him or win a Duplex game. I've never seen that happen before, Damon. Some part of him must have realised that you liked the way he looked, and he liked the outcome of that. I guess you could think of it a bit like a peacock, which fans its tail to get the attention of the peahen. The peacock doesn't understand what it's doing, it just sees the peahen and uses its tail feathers to try to attract her. I think he's fanning his tail for you, and it's not for any purpose other than he's trying to get your attention. So, the fact that he changed back after your trip to the blue planet could be interpreted as a compliment rather than an attempt at deception."