Everyone Has An Addiction, You Just Happen To Be Mine [Elu]

Found My Way Home

Home. What does that mean? The dictionary states it's 'the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household'. But if you don't have a permanent house or don't really have a family, then what can you call home? Lucas had no idea, and he assumed he never would.

At age 13, if you'd asked him what it meant, he would have answered straight away. Home was the house he shared with his mother and father. It was simple, but it was stable and enough for him.

By 17, Lucas had no clue. His mother was mentally ill and couldn't look after him as she was in an institution somewhere his father wouldn't tell him, his father had abandoned them and his house didn't feel like home anymore. The only thing he had was his friends, but even they had been pulling away recently. His days consisted of going to school, coming home, scraping a meal together from whatever was in the cupboard, then going to bed and laying awake until morning came. What was the point?

Sometimes he wanted to run away, just to leave his whole life behind and become someone else somewhere else. How hard could it be? No one would notice if he was gone anyway. But then reality hit him, and he realised that things don't get better for people like him. Life dealt him these cards, and he had to fold.

On his way back from school, Lucas decided to take a detour and walk past the railway line. His dad used to take him to watch the trains when he was little, before he decided Lucas wasn't enough for him and never would be. As he stood onto of the bridge, watching the trains pass into the distance, he felt a presence next to him. Lucas turned his head, and saw a boy stood next to him. He had golden hair and a sparkle in his eyes. The mysterious boy didn't turn to look at Lucas, but instead gazed into the distance.

"Where do you think they're going?" The boy asked.
"Huh?" Lucas fumbled, caught unaware by his voice.
"The trains. Where do you think they're going?"
"Um, Paris I suppose. Or maybe further, I'm not sure" Lucas replied, confused.
"I reckon they're heading to London, or Prague, or maybe Australia!" The boy said, eyes following the trains in the distance.
"But you can't get a train to Australia"
"Dare to dream. Maybe it's not heading there right now, but the people on that train could be. That train could be their first step in starting a new life somewhere else"
Lucas just hummed in reply, thoughts running wild about this strange boy who looked at life so differently.
"I'm Eliott" he said, finally turning to face Lucas, holding his hand out.
"Lucas" he replied, hand grasping Eliott's outstretched one.
"Nice to meet you Lucas" Eliott said before turning back to face the trains.
"So, where are you heading Lucas?"
"Nowhere, just took a detour on the way home I guess" Lucas sighed, wishing he was on one of those trains. "What about you Eliott, headed to Australia?" He said with a small smirk.
"Not just yet, maybe one day though. I like to watch the trains, they inspire me. So many possibilities of what could happen once people step off those trains" Eliott said softly, staring into the distance.
"Or maybe their lives are exactly the same, they're just a thousand miles away. Except maybe the curtains in their bedroom are yellow instead of blue"
"You think too small Lucas. Everything is different when you go somewhere else. New people, new places, new things to learn, new things to see. A fresh slate"
"You don't think the past follows you?" Lucas asked, turning to face the taller boy.
"The past will always follow you Lucas, but it's up to you to make the best of it and live your life the way you want to"
"You really think it would be that easy? To just get on a train and leave everything behind. No thought about where to go and what to do?"
"No one said it would be easy, but the best things in life never are. The best things happen when you throw away the plans and just go where your heart takes you. Look at you today, if you hadn't taken that detour, you'd have never come to this bridge, and you wouldn't have met me" Eliott said, stepping closer towards the smaller boy, eyes never losing contact.
Lucas swallowed, no words coming out of his mouth. His eyes glanced down to Eliott's lips, subconsciously leaning forwards slightly.

The pair were suddenly pushed apart by the harsh sound of a train in the distance. Lucas cleared his throat and grabbed his bag from the ground.
"I- I should probably get going. Got homework and, you know, just stuff" Lucas mumbled, refusing to make eye contact with the other boy.
"Yeah, stuff. See you around Lucas" Eliott said softly, smiling at the smaller boy before turning around and leaving in the opposite direction.
And if Lucas dreamt of trains and a certain golden haired boy that night, then it definitely meant nothing.

Every day after school, Lucas found his feet dragging him to the bridge, no matter how hard his brain told him to go a different way. Something was pulling him to Eliott, and maybe he wasn't as resistant to the idea as he thought he was. Each day ended with gentle conversations as the sun set above them and the trains ran below them. Each night Lucas went home, dreams filled with possibilities of a future that didn't seem as dark and gloomy as it had before.

One afternoon, Lucas went to the bridge as usual, but his eyes turned to a frown because he couldn't see Eliott there waiting for him. His heart sunk a little in his chest, but he decided to wait until the boy came. He was only a few minutes late after all, nothing to worry about.
But the night drew in, a gentle breeze making the hairs on his arms stand on edge. Lucas came to the harsh realisation that he wasn't coming. As he trudged home, feet kicking the leaves on the ground, he began to wonder what he'd done wrong. Why Eliott hadn't come back. And as the rain fell agaisnt his window that night, for the first time in a while, his dreams weren't filled with a golden haired boy.

Days went by, and Lucas fell deeper back into his old self. It had been five days since he last saw Eliott at the bridge and Lucas could cry. It wasn't fair that he had so much power over him. That those deep eyes and blinding smile could have brought so much light back into his life. He didn't know why he went back to the bridge, knowing that Eliott wouldn't be there. Knowing that his heart would drop even further into his chest, shrinking by the minute.

So when he turned the corner, his breath caught in his throat when Lucas saw a familiar silhouette stood over the bridge, tousled hair blowing in the breeze. He felt his feet carrying him towards the taller boy.
"Hi" Lucas whispered, staring into the distance.
"Hey" Eliott replied, his voice sounding strained.
"Where've you been?" Lucas asked, turning to face him. It was then that he noticed the bags beneath Eliott's eyes, the bright spark replaced by a dull glaze. His shoulders were hunched over and his hands were fiddling with his jacket.
"Just-Just stuff, you know"
"Yeah. Stuff" Lucas replied sadly, hoping Eliott would have opened up to him, let him into his mind the way Eliott was always in his.
The two stood in silence until Eliott's voice broke it.
"Do you ever want to run away Lucas?"
"Yeah" Lucas sighed, knowing he couldn't lie. He knows he should have said no, tried to pretend that everything was fine, but deep down he knew it wasn't. He didn't want to stay here, going through the motions of life because he had to. With Eliott he felt alive again, and he couldn't comprehend losing that feeling.
"So why don't you? Just get on a train and not come back"
"I don't know, I was scared I suppose. But now, I-" Lucas trailed off, both the boys staring into each others eyes.
"Now what?" Eliott whispered, stepping forward.
"I have a reason to stay" Lucas finished, his hands reaching towards Eliott's.

Eliott's lips surged down to meet Lucas's, hands tangling into his hair. And Lucas sighed into the kiss, hands coming up to wrap around Eliott's neck. The two moved like one, and Lucas swears something shifted in the universe.

"Come with me" Eliott mumbled into his mouth.
"Huh?" Lucas asked, hair mussed and eyes glazed over with pure bliss, too focused on what had just happened.
"Run away with me. Away from this place, away from everything here. Let's just get on a train and go"
And Lucas didn't know why the words came out of his mouth, but it was like there was no need to even think about them.
"Ok. Ok, let's go"
And Eliott laughed, a sound Lucas had missed more than he could have imagined. He was wrapped up in Eliott once more, the two holding onto each other as their only lifeline.
"Go pack a bag, just stuff you need. And I'll see you here at 7, don't be late" Eliott rushed, leaning in for one last kiss before running in the opposite direction.
Lucas didn't have time to think, his feet just carried him back towards his house of the last 17 years. He grabbed some clothes, some spare cash he had lying around and ran back towards the bridge, not glancing back at the life he was leaving behind.

As him and Eliott walked towards the train, hands locked together, Eliott turned to Lucas and asked him a question.
"So where are we headed?"
And Lucas answered back instantly, knowing exactly where he wanted to go.

"Wherever you are"