Vikings imagines

modern AU Ivar imagine

The prompts are: "You'll never feel alone with me by your side", and "I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you".

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, mentions of sex, mentions of disability

Your life had turned difficult from the moment you had met Ivar.
Well actually it had turned difficult from the moment you had decided you wanted to be in a relationship, which he didn't seem to like.
You had been studying at the same university and had met him at a party his brothers had hosted, while Ivar had tried to ignore the people around him to read you had watched him long enough for your friend Hvitserk to notice, who had dragged you to sit next to him and introduced you two.
It had been very awkward, Hvitserk had only grinned dirtily whilst you tried to make conversation and Ivar tried his best to appear unwelcoming.
It had saddened you that Ivar had been so rude even though you had been kind to him and you knew even though Hvitserk didn't notice it that Ivar did, by the small glance he had given you as you got up to leave.
When you had made your way out of the apartment Ivar had followed you, making the effort of walking to apologize.
He had told you that he was sorry that he had been an asshole but that he wasn't looking for anyone to be in a relationship with.
It had nearly angered you that he had the guts to think you only wanted to get to know him because you were desperate for a relationship, though it was partly true.
When the next semester started you found yourself in two classes he had as well, and you couldn't stop staring at him.
It was either you staring at him or him staring at you, but it happened every lesson, and sometimes you caught each other staring, which led to an awkward greeting.
Your friends called you insane when they caught onto your staring matches and your obvious feelings for the handsome outsider, telling you that it was unwise to even think about, or be with him.
They certainly disliked Ivar, for whichever reason you had no idea, but you didn't think about him the same way they did.
The next time you talked was back at his house because you were picking Hvitserk up for a party, and he even smiled at you.
You had counted that as a win for you, and had decided to visit Hvitserk more often.
You also listened to rumors you had heard about the Lothbroks for the first time since you had arrived at uni, hearing that each one was a sleeparound and particularly good in bed, except for Ivar, no one knew if he even had sexual desires, or friends.
Even though Ivar usually sat alone after or during classes you decided to sit with him and make conversation occasionally, shocking about every other student in the room.
You didn't mind the stares and Ivar grew accustomed to it, even smiling when you decided to sit with him.
Even though you knew he had said he wasn't interested you could feel his eyes lingering on you, or on couples that walked by, and you knew what it meant.
He was feeling the same way about you as you were about him, and he wanted to be in a relationship as well.
It took a while for you to ask him out on a date but when you did he reluctantly agreed, surprising you by doing so.
You had expected him to say no, but when he didn't you suggested going to a coffee shop, to which he agreed as well.
The date itself was nice, Ivar seemed more relaxed than usual even though you could feel other people's eyes on you, and afterwards he decided to walk you home.
It was wonderful, the two of you had fun and you felt so happy with him, until he decided to tell you that it wouldn't work out, leaving you standing there with no explanation as to why.
The next few weeks were hell.
You couldn't stop staring at each other even though you tried to avoid looking, and you were sadder than you had ever been in your life.
You had been rejected before, but the knowledge that Ivar had done so weighed heavily on you.
One night when you were getting ready for bed you heard a knock on your door, and opening it you saw Ivar standing there, a sad and desperate look clouding his usually stoically angry features.
As soon as you saw sadness in his eyes you resisted the urge to slam the door shut in his face and let him in.
Neither of you said anything before Ivar moved forward, burying his face in your hair and hugging you tightly.
It was out of nowhere but you quickly returned the hug, stabilizing him.
"I fucked up", he whispered as he let you go and you stood still to listen.
"My father died and I fucked up, so none of my brothers even look at me anymore", he told you and you continued watching him carefully.
"And I feel so alone, because I pushed them away, and you too", he said as he mindlessly dragged a hand through his hair.
You didn't know what to say or do but you knew you wanted to give him the comfort he so desperately needed.
"You'll never feel alone with me by your side", you said softly and Ivar looked at you, surprise visible on his face.
"If you let me", you added with a small smile and Ivar looked at you with disbelief.
"You don't want me", he answered you and you nearly laughed at his audacity.
"It's not up to you to decide what I want", you shot back, but as soon as you started talking he did too, cutting you off.
"I'm telling you you don't want me. I am damaged goods, I mean look at me", he said and you nearly groaned.
"I don't care, Ivar! Your disability doesn't...", you began but he cut you off again.
"Exactly, I have a disability! You don't deserve to be dragged down by this, you deserve the best, and that's certainly not me", he cut you off and you were silent when you heard what he had to say.
It angered and saddened you to hear how Ivar felt about himself, and you didn't know what to do.
"Ivar, I don't care about your disability, I care about you", you said softly and when your eyes finally met you saw realization dawning in him.
"Give us a chance. Give yourself a chance to be happy, you don't deserve to be punished time and time again", you said softly and you could see tears brimming in his eyes, and you could feel tears starting to form in yours as well.
"I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you", he said softly, and a smile spread across your face as you moved to stand closer to him.
You reached your hands out, setting them on the sides of his face to wipe tears that had started to fall away.
"I don't deserve you", he repeated and you shook your head as you moved onto the balls of your feet to get closer to him.
"Yes, yes you do, Ivar", you whispered before your lips met his.