little t&a

i said, my my

They went home after that, stopping only to pick up some more takeout for dinner. Paul was bemoaning it a bit, and offering to make them both sandwiches instead, even when he was pulling up to the restaurant.

"I've gained three pounds just this past week."

"You've been weighing yourself?"

Paul looked at him weirdly.

"Well, yeah. Every day."

"Even since this happened?" Gene was a little bewildered to think that even getting cursed hadn't been enough to distract Paul out of that particular concern.

"Yeah. I think I'm still gaining it all in the abdomen." Paul took a disgusted glance down at himself, assuming he could even see his stomach past his chest. Gene was beginning to wonder. "We can't keep eating like we're on the road."

"Can't we?"

"Fuck, no." Paul grimaced, shaking his head as he parked the car and turned off the engine. "I spent the entire break trying to get my weight down."

"You look fine. Why are you so worried?"

"The costume girls'll have a fit."

It was the first time either of them had mentioned anything related to the tour all day. It cut through the Central Park fantasy like an Exacto knife. Gene wasn't going to have some cute girl—this cute girl—hanging on his arm for much longer. Maybe no more than a few hours.

Gene rubbed his elbow uncomfortably. Paul, gazing at his own reflection in the car mirror and pushing his hair in front of his shoulders, didn't seem to notice, so Gene pushed the rest of his thoughts aside. They got out of the car together; Gene paid for the food, and they returned to Paul's place soon after. Half the takeout was gone before they'd even gotten home with it. They finished off the rest at the kitchen island, then laid around on the couch awhile, T.V. running in the background while Gene read and Paul doodled.

It was kind of funny, really. Occasionally it felt like nothing had really shifted. Still watching T.V. together like they used to in the hotels, back when getting laid after the show was a distant hope and not an inevitability. Eating out of Styrofoam boxes. Joking around and shooting the shit.

The rest of the time, Gene was painfully aware of how much had shifted. There was the sex, sure, even if they hadn't gone all the way, but that wasn't the whole of it. He'd still have his gloomy spells, sure, but overall, Paul seemed so happy. So open. So—maybe Gene was giving himself too much credit, but Paul seemed—taken with him. He'd never been aware of anything like that out of Paul before. If those big, dark eyes had ever looked Gene's way with half the warmth and attention he was getting now, then—well, then, Gene hadn't noticed.

He'd thought Paul didn't like him a bit when they'd first met, in fact. He'd been high on his own bravado, and Paul had just hung in the periphery of his circles. Somebody had introduced them, and Gene had popped off immediately, something like oh, you write songs?, and Paul—well, he'd been Stan, and Stanley if you wanted to piss him off, back then; he hadn't gone by Paul until a year or two later—had snapped right back with an affirmative.

He remembered asking him to play one for him, and Paul had. The song was a lousy, incoherent mash-up of the Stones, Bowie, and the Beatles at their most soused, and his playing was worse. But somehow after, they'd just... Gene didn't know. He couldn't remember a definitive point where they'd clicked. Paul had still been in the process of nearly flunking out of high school, while Gene was a sophomore, or maybe a junior in college. But he remembered starting to call him up after classes, inviting him to parties and jams. He remembered thinking Paul was standoffish and nervous, not cut out at all for the rockstar career he was so desperate for. But he didn't remember ever getting the feeling Paul dug him. More that he was just lonely.