A Home For: Discarded Boys (mxm) (Polyfidelity) (On Hold)

Prologue

I looked out the Rolls Royce window, already lost track of how many miles of land seemed to stretch on from the nearest town. The small oxycodone pill slowly being broken down in my lack mouth. Just something to take the edge off my nerves. The longer I let it dissolve the less stressed I felt, the less smothered I was. I could breathe.

"Willum? Halló?" (Hello?)

I looked up at my mom and placed a easy embarrassed look on my face, "Sorry mamma, já?" (yes?)

"Hefurðu verið að hlusta á mig?" (Have you been listening to me?) She asked more then a little annoyed. I'd been slowly losing more and more focus as the miles stretched, my high was creeping up on me and honestly I couldn't even be bothered to play pretend anymore. This was happening, this was all happening right now.

I was high and my parents were shaking me off their leg like a dog shakes piss. I was being thrown away like a used nappy, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to change it.

7 years of playing pretend, 7 long years of changing myself to fit every expectation they had for me. 7 long miserable years of acting like a new person every time they got bored of the last. And I had finally ran out of faces to steal, personas to mimic.

"já mamma, hugur minn er bara að spá. fyrirgefðu" (yes mom, my mind is just wondering. sorry)

God I'm pathetic, be angry. cry scream shout do something, anything but continue to act like this isn't happening. No matter how much you play pretend the doll house has already been sold, and your next on the line here Willum. They're not just gonna suddenly change their mind because you keep acting like mamma's good boy. Fudging loser.

She looked back at me from the passenger seat and frowned, "Horfðu á mig" (Look at me)

And I tried to, really. But with how many oxycodone's I had I was honestly having trouble moving my neck. My body felt much too relaxed.

She cursed and my hazy eyes landed on my dads through the mirror, easy earned disappointment reflected between the both of us.

I closed my eyes, "...fyrirgefðu" (Sorry)

For the rest of the ride neither of them would meet my eyes, and I found it much more relaxing to keep mine closed.

---

When I woke up it was dark outside, I could tell from the stars shining out the large open window in front of me. The second thing I noticed was the fuzzy blue cover layered on my tummy, hands combing through my hair. Soft motherly humming just barely audible in the quiet room.

I don't know why, but I began to cry. It was the first time I'd cried in almost 7 long miserable years.