𝑅𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑|| 𝑗.ℎ

Chapter 34

Emilia's pov-

Driving home was quiet but nice. I got to watch the trees fly by, the snow hitting the window softly as it just started to fall, a few kids running around hitting each other with snow balls, an old couple enjoying each other's company, and a family sitting around drinking on hot chocolate.

I wonder what my family would have been if everything worked out. If everything was in place. My dad was the living father everyone deserved or if my mom wasn't blind to his love and they were happy. If my sister cared for me like a big sister would.

I'd bet we be the happiest family. Maybe a dog and a nice victorian home i'm the middle of the woods. We'd be able to enjoy to the hidden park together, having daily picnics.

My heart lurches at the picture. Everything crystal clear, we would all be happy.

Whoever, that's not how stories work nor families. There just some people who have to fight through the up and downs because no one else can. There has to be someone to be a bit stronger and wiser and I guess that had to be me.

Did I want it too? No. Did I have a choice? Not really. Did I survive? I don't know.

Would you call this surviving?

Because I don't know if the constant pain and constant regret would be surviving. I'm not trying to keep myself afloat, I'm not fighting for anything, I'm not fighting for a life, my life.

Really, the only thing stopping me is him.

He's the only person I would never want to hurt or betray. He's done so much for me even if he hasn't realized it. He's bent over backwards for me, over and over again.

I don't believe in having to love yourself to love someone else.

We built our town on shaking ground, I know this and will always know this. The earthquake within me never seems to fail to shake, tearing out a piece of my heart by piece. Leaving shambles of a once lovable thing.

He met me, and glues some of it together but it still shakes and rumbles but we still manage to stay afloat, our little towns we built for each other on our hearts never seem to break down.

I don't love myself but him. Oh he's is another story.

It's everything about him. His ice blue eyes to his brown washed hair. To his goofy smile and angered scowl. From his caring heart to wonderous mind. Breaking everyone's heart, even my own.

We such a imperfect mess together it seems to float, it seems to stay together and I don't know how.

Why am I just realizing it now?

My head turns to my left and I let my eyes wonder his. His intense gaze and wary scowl send chills throughout me. Outside his truck window, my neighbors house sits in the snow. I never knew he was even watching me or we were here.

"What are you thinking about?" He ask. I shake my head, bringing my knees to my chest and bringing my eyes back out the front window.

"Just about life."

"Care to share?"

"That's for my tiny brain only sir." I attempt to joke. His face doesn't move, his scowl still set deep. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired." He quickly brushed off. I can't help the small frown that forms on my face.

"Are you still mad at me?"

"No, it's not you I promise."

"Okay." I mutter. "You know i'm here if you need me right?"

"Yes and I appreciate that." He hands me a half smile but fails miserably so I just give a small smile back and look over to my house and back to him.

"Thank you for taking me home. I'll see you tomorrow."

He doesn't say anything as I shut the door and walk to the house. He doesn't pull away until i'm inside the house with the door closed. I can let out a sigh.

Even though I hated this home, I miss it sometimes. It always refreshing to just alone in a house, just being able to breathe without someone down your back.

I set my school bag on the counter and do my normal thing by grabbing a drink from the fridge and heading downstairs but I didn't make it very far when I heard the rumbling of a truck pull into my driveway and a door slamming shut.

I couldn't process anything when the door flew open and an angry but quiet Jaden storms in, walking right towards me. It wasn't a 'I was angry at you' anger, it more for himself.

"Do you like her?"

"What?! Like who?" He steps one step closer to be, his breathing close enough to onto my face.

"Lilly. Do you like Lilly?" He ask again, but this time more angrily.

"No? Why would you ask th-" I was cut off, stumbling into the wall and kissed hard.

His lips moved angry but gentle, both of his hands on my face, and his body nearly pressed against mine. I didn't expect it, I didn't know why to do so I just went with it, moving my lips to match his speed.

This was the second time i've ever kissed someone. Both being him. His lipped seem so foreign but oddly soothing, even if he's angry. I can't say I haven't imagined kissing him again but this isn't the way I thought it would go at all. Angry and confused.

When he pulled away, his eye immediately search mine looking for something and we he found it, he relaxed, his muscle un-tensed and he became like putty in my hands. He closes his eyes again and leans forward, resting his forehead on mine.

I have nothing to say  but i'm utterly shocked, not moving a muscle.

"What was. I." I mumble, trying to figure out what to say. He moves his thumb from my cheek to my lips slightly shushing me.

"We have a lot to talk about. I know but please can we just stay here."

I don't respond, my mind in other dimensions. The walls are spinning, the pop rolling around on the floor, my lips tingling, my stomach erupting with butterflies. Everything was happening at once, but from the slightly irritation in his voice, I don't question any of it right now. I don't even say a word, instead, I wrap my arms around him waist, bring him a tiny bit closer and leaning into his touch, trying to savor every moment of this messed up way.

"You're not okay are you?" I whisper after a few minutes of silence. He slightly shakes his head no and grips onto my tighter,

like his world depended on it.

For the first time ever, he needed me.

A/N: Am I proud of this, lowkey kinda. Idk. It's mixed feels:)

Love you<3