Addicted To You

39| Appreciated

Chapter 39: Appreciated (Emma's POV)

We woke up the next morning, me a little before him. I'm still a little in shock. I'm still not totally convinced that last night even happened. I didn't go to sleep angry at him but I'm definitely waking up that way. Let me give you guys a quick recap. 

He called me Chloe. Multiple times in his sleep. He started saying I hate him and was going to leave him and refused to believe me when I told him otherwise. He called me Chloe. He fucking called me Chloe! He's called me Chloe only once before. In the cafe that one time we all went on a study date. And it hurt but I wasn't too offended because there was nothing going on between, it was just a slip of tongue. But now? 

I'm his girlfriend. And he's calling me by the name of his dead ex-girlfriend. In what world is that okay and not offensive? Am I not enough for him? Does he miss Chloe, is that why he keeps calling me that? It makes me believe that if she was alive, he'd still be with her, not me. And knowing that feels like someone is twisting a knife in my heart. And it makes me feel like I'm not worth as much to him. Like I'm not being appreciated. 

I pushed myself so hard to get to know him, break down his walls, to let him let me in. And it's all for nothing if he's still hung up on Chloe. I understand it was hard for him to go through her passing but there's no connection between me and Chloe. Nothing in common apart from the fact that he dated us both. That doesn't make me anything like her. 

Normally, when one of us wakes up before the other, we wake up the other person with kisses. I didn't do that today. I just got out of bed and went to shower. I turned the water on, leaving it to heat up while taking my clothes off and putting my hair up in a bun. I stepped into the shower, letting the water fall down my back, drenching me within seconds. I turned around, cupping the water in my hands, and then splashing it onto my face. 

I'm just so fucking lucky, aren't I? The guy I love is still hung up on his dead ex-girlfriend. 

I know I should be a little more sensitive, and I will be when it comes to him. But I'm allowed to hate this situation and act like it in my mind. Because I do hate this. 

Once I was clean, I turned the water off and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around my body before stepping out. I brushed my teeth and then opened the door to get my clothes. I pulled on the handle and froze as it opened and Nathan stood right there. "Morning," I mumbled. 

"You didn't wake me up." 

"I thought I'd let you sleep in a little longer, you had a rough night," I said, slipping past him and heading to my closet. 

He grabbed my wrist, yanking me back, and pressed me against the wall. "You did too." 

"Yeah, but... whatever, I'll wake you up next time," I said, trying to push by him but he wasn't having it. 

"What's wrong with you?" 

"Nothing is wrong with me, Nathan. I'm just in a pissy mood, can I get dressed?" 

"No, I prefer you naked," he said, just to pick a fight with me. 

"Yeah, well we don't always get what we want. We'll be late for school, let me get dressed." 

"Fine," he said, letting go of my wrist and going into the bathroom, locking it behind him. 

I grabbed one of his shirts from my closet because it was the first one I saw and paired it with a pair of jeans, tying the front in a knot. I let my hair down and threw it up in a bun again, not bothered enough to brush it. I was tying up my laces when he came back out with nothing but a towel around his waist.