BIGG BOSS

.Weekend Ka Vaar.

Salman: toh welcome to bigg boss ,biggboss yaar mai sponsors ke naam lete lete thak gaya hoon, ab naam ke saath saath mai unka pata bhi bolu kya? ...toh chaliye hum galat fammi ki gubbare chodne chalte hai

All contestant: hi sirrrrrrr
Salman:hi everyone , aap sab log bohut ache kah rahe ho
Neha:par sir humne toh wahi kapde pehne hai?
Salman:isliye toh aap log acche lag rahe ho...
Ananya: mujhe toh kuch samaj hi nahi aaya
Pankaj:beta uss ke liye naa, dimaag chahiye
Ananya: woh mere paas aap se bhi zyaada hai
Pankaj:beta iss time pe mazzak nahi karte
Ananya: oh shut up!
Salman: toh chaliye hum kal ki prakriya Galat fammi ki gubbara chalu karte hai....disha aapse hum chalu karenge
Disha:sir mere se hi kyun chalu karna hai?
Salman:kyunki hume aapki "disha" ka  "patani  " mera matalb hume aapka disha ka pata nahi chal raha hai

Disha: accha sir mai aage ananya ka gubbara phodna chahti hoon kyunki ananya ki galat femmi hai ki wh bohut hi samajhadaar hai
Salman:issi baat pe disha hum aur janta aapko iss elimination se save karte ...so congrats disha,aap aaj ghar nahi jaa rahe ho.
Disha:thank u sir, thank u everyone j love u guys a lot

Disha:sir mai doosra gubbara neha ka phodna chahti hoon, kyunki unhe lagta hai ki woh strong nahi hai...jabki woh bohut strong hai .

Salman: ab sara ka sara baari sara ka hai
Sara :haan ji sir, sir mai aage toh sabse pehle kartik ji  ka phodna chahungi
Salman:sara,aap kya kartik kya phodna  chahengi?
Sara:aree sir, mai kartik ji gubbare jo sir pe hai unke ,mai phodna chahungi
Salman:mujhe toh kuch aur hi laga tha
Kartik:kya sir,aap bhi naa ,salman sir mai bhi popular hoon
Salman:woh dikh raha hai, sab aapka hi phodna chahte hai......sorry sab ka balloon hi ....bas balloon hi phodna chahte hai.
Kartik:sir bas, meri mummy ye dekh rahi hai
Sara:sir kartik ki galat femmi yeh hai ki usse lagata  hai ki mujhe uski support chahiye... jab ki mujhe woh aur uski support ki koi jaroorat nahi hai.
Salman: mai toh ek hi cheez bolunga aap dono ko aur woh bhi experience ke saath bol raha hoon, jo mere saath hua tha, woh mai nahi chahta ki woh aap dono ke saath ho. Please apna relationship status recheck karo.

Sara: sir mera doosra naam disha hongi
Unki galat femmi yeh hai ki unhe lagta hai ki woh sahi Disha mai jaa rahi hai,par aisa kuch bhi nahi hai.
Salman:accha sara ab aap baith jaaiye , par baithane se pehle ishaan ko bhejiye

Ishaan: sir mai  pankaj ji  ka gubbara phodna chahta hoon unki galat femmi yeh hai ki  unhe lagta hai ki woh ki woh bohut zyaada hi smart hai ....par aisa kuch bhi nahi hai.
Pankaj: beta,woh toh waqt hi batayega

Ishaan: sir mera doosra naam hongi Alia...kyunki unhe lagta hai ki woh bohot sweet hai...par yeh inki galat femmi hai mujhe lagta hai ki yeh bohut hi kadwa bolti hai

Salman: varun ab aapki baari hai,aur Varun aap ishaan ko Bolde ki woh aap ko bole ki aap safe ho.
Varun:matlab ki mai aaj ghar nahi jaa raha ?
Salman:haan ji
Varun:thank u ikrrrrr, thank u everyone jinhone mere liye vote kiya hai

Varun: sir mai aage kartik ka gubbara phodna chahunga...
Salman:kartik ka kya?
Kartik:sir ,aap mere saath aisa kyun kar rahe ho? Sir woh gubbara jo mere sir pe hai,woh phodna chahta hai
Varun:sir aapki izzajat hai toh maj phodu? Ahhh sorry kartik ka gubbara phodu?
Salman:all yours
Kartik: sirrrrrr bhi naa!

Varun: sir kartik ko lagta hai ki woh Zara sa bhi emotional nahi hai
Jabki yeh ghar mai sabse zyaada emotional hai...bas dikhata nahi hai.
Salman: waah yaar  varun, yeh accha reason tha.

Varun: sir mera doosra naam ranbir honge kyunki unhe lagta hai ki woh auraton ki bohut izzat karte hai...par mujhe nahi lagta.
Salman:varun aap ko ek aur cheez jaanke  khushi hogi hai
Varun:kya sir?
Salman :aap ke liye humne kapoor khaandaan  ke Chirag ko aaj ke elimination se safe kar liya hai...sirf aap ke liye
Alia:hahaha thank u sir.

Salman:ab chaliye hum ab iss prakriya ko khatam karte hai.
Alia:par sir meri baari nahi aayi
Bhumi:haan sir meri bhi baari nahi aayi hai abhi tak
Salman: ab kuch agle weekend ke vaar ke liye bhi chod dijiye...nahi toh colours wale kya dikhayenge tv pe?
Janhvi:chaliye sir, ye bhi theeke
Ananya: sir ka show,sir ke hi rules

Salman: ab chaliye hum aage badte hai....ishaan aapke ki age kitna hai?
Ishaan:ahh sir 25 yrs...
Salman:25 saal waah, aur ananya aapki age kya hai?
Ananya: I am 22 yrs
Salman:ok that's wonderful,so ishaan woh 22 yrs hoke bhi samaj gayi ki jo insaan ab nahi hai iss duniya mai, uska naam national television pe aap kaise le sakte ho? Aur woh bhi sush sush bolke? Yeh naa Shobha nahi deti hai...aur aap ko ya humne bhi nahi maloom ki unke saath kya hua tha? Toh aap rhea pe  ilzam kaise daal sakte ho?
Yeh sab toh sunni sunni baat haina? Aapko maloom hai ki unke saath kya hua tha? Nahi naa toh aap kyu iss pe charcha kar rahe ho?
Rhea:exactly sir! Akal nahi hai do paise ki.
Salman: arre rhea ji, hum aap pe bhi aayenge...zara rukiye toh.
Ishaan: haan sir, I understood ki aap kya kehna chah rahe the...rhea ji I am sorry.
Rhea:u dont deserve my sorry.
Salman:arre rhea ji , hum aapke baare mai kya hi kahe?
Rhea: par sir
Salman: rhea, ab aap kuch nahi bolengi. Jo bhi bolna hai woh bas mai hi bolunga.
Rhea:par sir,iss mai meri koi galti hi nahi hai.
Ranbir:rhea please shut up!

*Salman removes his coat, and throws it on the stage

Salman: aap kartik aur sara ki kya lagti hai?
Rhea:Kuch bhi nahi.
Salman: toh aap kaun hoti ho un dono ko unke hi relationship pe bolne wali?
Unka marzi hai unhe jo karna hai,woh wahi karenge aur ek baar yeh kya baby baby  kartik baby rakha hai....woh kuch nahi bol raha hai, iska matalb hai ki aap hadd se bahar hoke unhe torture ya majboor karoge? Yeh kahan ke ethics hai bhala?
Sara :thank u sir
Salman: aur rhea,agar aapko itna hi shauk hai aag laga ne ka aur jhagda karne ka toh please wwe mai jaaiye...yeh ek entertainment show. Aur toh aur sabse zyaada jarrori baat .

Salmn: HIJDA/CHAKKA....aap jaise logon ke wajah se hi yeh shabd aur log humare bharat mai except nahi hote hai. Agar gay hai,toh kya problem hai?
LGBTQ: Lesbian Gay Bisexual  Transgender Queer  agar in mai se koi se hai toh aap ko kya takleef hai? Zara apni soch ko badal liye.....aap 21st century. Mai reh rahe hai...na ki koi puraani samay mai.
Karan:thank u so much sir
Salman: and karan, try to stand up for yourself....everytime I or be it anyone wont be there for u.

Salman : toh hum ab aage badte hai aur sabse main mudde pe aate hai Nominations pe...toh abhi bhi Sara Vicky nominated hai.
Rhea:ahh sir mai bhi nominated hoon
Salman: nahi rhea, aap iss elimination se safe hoti ho.
Rhea:kya sir! Thank u so muchhhhh
Salman:toh ab bachte hai Vicky aur sara ....
Vicky: sir aapka suspense hi bohut dara deta hai hume
Salman: sara, aap aaj ghar se beghar hote ho.
Kartik: sir aap jhooth bol rahe ho na?
Salman:nahi Kartik, mai jhooth kyu hi bolunga.
Pankaj:sara se zyaada toh kartik hi emotional hai...varun sahi bole the.
Bhumi:why are you crying ...she's getting eliminated not u
Salman:aree aree yeh side kartik ka toh maine bhi nahi dekha tha.
Varun:sir yeh itna show karta hai ki mai bohut strong hoon n all par andar se ye abhi bhi baccha hai
Alia:haan sir...V bilkul sahi kehte raha hai...hum isske dost hai,isliye hum jaante hai
Karan: sir kartik bahar se aise dikhata hai ki woh bohut strong hai par andar se poora baccha hai aur sara unki poori opposite hai. Sara bahar se dikhti hai bohut pyaar aur soft par unse koi zyaada koi strong nahi hai.
Salman:accha achha, aaj bigboss ke ghar se koi bhi beghar nahi ho raha hai. Mai bas mazzak kar raha tha.
Kartik:sir aapna....
Sara:thank u so much sir
Vicky: thank u everyone...i love u all
Salman: ok ab mai aap logon se alvida leta hoon. Kartik aur sara relationship status ka homework karke aana,mai agle weekend check karunga. Tab tak ke liye have fun guys.
All contestant: bye sir!!!