I'm here for you.
god that sentence is thrown around a lot,
by parents, friends,
relatives, teachers, loved ones.
but where were they when I was really upset.
they were telling me
"it's fine"
"you will get over it eventually",
"just ignore the rumors."
I wish it was that simple
but it's not.
every time those words are spoken
in my mind its them saying we don't care,
or we don't want to listen to your problems.
I wrote multiple suicide notes
but none of them fit,
to the pain I was truly feeling.
even in the notes I still lied,
so instead if dying I caused pain to myself,
mentally and physically.
as I pushed people away,
I pushed a knife into my skin.
I watched the blood drip
I watched people stop trying.
I had a dream one night
it was me
I was dead
the ghost of me
staring at the corpse
then I woke up
and I knew I needed to make a change
