☢OXYTOCIN☢

Belleza

"If I were blind, within my heart, I could still see the beauty that you are." 

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It was Yuzuru who was always considered as beautiful. Fans and reporters stated how adorable he was, how mesmerizing his skating was. His friends always commented on that attractive shyness surrounding him, the way he became flushed the second someone gave him a compliment, with his ears turning red, and hands trying to hide his face away from the outside world. In his costumes, he was always looked at as a prince, a swan, or some sort of God; his beauty and existence too unreal to be true.

The Japanese liked the aura he gave out, the way people saw and thus treated him. Who wouldn't, right? Statements about his looks and skating were still rather appealing to him, even after all those years, but the questions! The questions those stupid reporters gave other skaters about him drove him mad!

He told himself not to be angry at them, that they didn't know what it was like to be an athlete, and yet, whenever he heard or read another skater being questioned about one of his rivals, the great Yuzuru Hanyū , the young Japanese man became frustrated.

He enjoyed being the best, although he had to work harder than the others to keep his place at the top, but he just couldn't stand the shadow he unintentionally created. He wanted for his friends to bathe in the lights of attention, too. He wanted them to receive as much support and love as he did. And yet, it hardly ever came true.

What he began to notice, and what angered but also scared him the most, was the suffering his closest friends experienced. It wasn't only Nam suffering; it was Gabby – she was a woman, she wasn't even in the same category as him but still went through pain. It was also Jason, the funny and loveable Jason, and Jun to a certain point, too.

Yuzuru often felt terribly sorry for all those, who were close to him. He often found himself questioning whether his decision of coming to Canada was good or bad. At some point, during yet another sleepless night, he regrated leaving Japan and wished he could turn back the time, slap his younger self across the face and make him stay in his home-country.

Life at the top was painful and often lonely, but he didn't want it to become like that. He wanted to keep people around him, even if he didn't say it out loud, and wanted to have friends like any other person. He was, after all, just a human, too. He was often scared his friends would get fed up, would have had enough, and leave the club, scattering their careers on the floor, and blame him for the outcome. But he was also scared of telling the reporters to calm down, to stop asking others about him, to ask questions which applied to the skater.

However, he did, once, do so. He did, once, come out rather passively aggressive after a question echoed in his ears at a certain press conference. At that time, he didn't care about the cameras capturing everything or pictures being taken. He didn't care about speaking his mind, didn't care about of the fact if he offended one of those stupid reports whom he wouldn't see ever again.

At that time, during the Olympics, he told himself he had enough and acted on reflex, listened to his instinct and said what he always wanted to say.

Of course, it left everyone speechless; no-one had ever seen Yuzuru so serious off the ice. It was written down at the speed of light, and would cause great chaos after it reached the light of the world, but Yuzuru did not care.

Even the man on his right was surprised; the man he defended.

"You should be glad that Jabi has the patience of a saint."