His truths and mine ( A DaiSuga fanfic)

*No more*

*Suga's pov*

I arrived at Daichi's parent's house, my heart was beating madly, my chest tightened, and I couldn't breathe. My hands shook violently, my eyes throbbed from crying, and my legs screamed in pain from running so much. I didn't want to talk to adults I hardly knew, but I had to know what happened, I had to know what happened to Daichi. I swallowed deep, I was aware of every little thing now, and this made my head spin wildly. I felt each beat of my heart, each breath that I took, every cut on my body, every bruise I had acquired. It all rushed through as Daichi's mom answered the door, she threw her arms around me and cried heavily. "Thank god you came, Suga, thank you for being there for Daich all these years, thank you for coming back."

"Please come in," her voice was shaking but relaxed.

"Ok," I responded following her into the house.

I carefully removed my shoes and set them by the front entrance of the door. My brain could barely register what I was doing as I walked into the house. This is the place where he grew up, I remember coming here quite a few times as a child, we would play here endlessly, with laughter and smiles that would last for days. His parents were doting and loved him, they wanted him, they wanted to love him and adore him, and hold him dear to their hearts. They never would have beat him, they never would have shunned him, unlike my parents, I would come here when I wanted real comfort. I sat down across from Daichi's parents, I hardly knew anything about these people yet I loved and cared for them more than my own parents. I felt more connected to these people, they had always been here. It was at this moment when I realized Daichi's mom was brushing her fingers across the scars that lined my arms.

"Suga," he whispered.

I pulled my arms away, ashamed of my scars, I wanted to run away again but stayed firmly on the ground.

"Suga, why are your arms like that, Suga do you cut yourself?" She looked horrified as the words left her mouth, this was the time when I lost the people who had cared about me.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice you were in pain," she said as he hugged me deep within her arms. I clung to her and cried, I screamed at everything that had happened, all the pain that I had gone through. 

"Suga I'm sorry but I'm afraid we have news that will only make things worse." "But please listen to us, we want you to know what has happened to Daichi." She kept talking but I was no longer processing, these people cared for me, and now I would get to know what had happened to my beloved Daichi. But I regretted it the moment I heard the words leave her mouth, these words would truly crush all the will I had left to live. These words would for sure keep me locked in a drowning pit of darkness. These words would crush me to the point that I would never be happy again. Not when Kageyama had the guts to confess to Hinata. Sure I was glad that he could finally tell Hinata about his feelings but it got glossed over the dark drowning emptiness inside. These words would paralyze my soul, and I would lose myself, I would lose everything I held dear.

"Daichi's dead," she could barely say the words as they left her mouth, I didn't even process them. I just started laughing hysterically, I was screaming out in pain, I cried harder than I ever had. These words BROKE me, I now understood. I would never get to be more than friends with the person I loved more than anything. I would lose it all, including my will to live. But this isn't what drove me over the edge. I know it's strange, right, these words broke me, but they didn't end me, Daichi did. At the time I had no idea that what Daichi had left for me would be what drove me to end my life. It was what Daichi had done, what he had left for me, he had left me these broken pieces. And I was never able to put them back together, I would never be able to fix these shatters. I was a shell of a person already, but the words broke me, and what Daichi left behind ended me. I just wanted nothing more than happiness, that was all I had ever wanted, But I would never get it. All the pain I had grown up with, all the abuse, all the bullying, all of the depression, anxiety, and PTSD had nothing on the immense emptiness that was headed for. My life started flashing before, my dad's cold abusive hands, my mom's evil soul-crushing words. The kid's cruelty, the kicking, all of the fag's that had got etched onto my belongings. All the darkness growing up, all of the bruises and devastating words that stuck with me. The endless I hate Suga people, the people that filled my life, day in and day out. But none of it mattered because I had had my Daichi, I had my miracle boy. The boy that would dull my sadness and pain. The boy whose smile lit up my world light dynamite, the boy who had cared about. But now what, he was GONE, GONE, what was left, emptiness, that was the answer. 

He had left me like everyone else, HE WAS GONE, he would never get to be MINE. I just wanted him, I wanted his warmth, his happiness, his love. I want all of him, I want to be his, I wanted to be more than just friends. I just wanted to finally find a ray of light, Daichi was that ray, he was my miracle boy, my Daichi, but he was no more.