ʜᴇᴀᴠᴇɴ ᴏʀ ʜᴇʟʟ ⟶ ɢinny ᴡeasley

vi

WARNING: mentions of suicide

It was on Blaise's birthday that she realized things were not going well.

The last nights she had felt restless, nervous, she felt pain in parts of her body that she should not feel. Every time she closed her eyes, she felt like a child again, fearful because the shadow that was projected on the wall looked gloomy in the dark. A strange sound hammered in her ears, preventing her from concentrating on anything else; a sound that was probably only the product of her imagination, the result of the anxiety that invaded her.

During the days she was on the alert, constantly with her eyes on every corner, waiting for bad news to come from somewhere. Because to be honest, when Jude had a hunch, it rarely went wrong, and the Slytherin thought this wasn't going to be the first time she was wrong.

Her black eye was totally healed, but now it was her bloodshot eyes that were attracting attention —the girl seemed to have no break. She would turn quickly whenever she heard a sound she hadn't previously detected, paying special attention whenever Blaise or Draco sat next to her and started talking. She felt a strange and newfound new anxiety every time she heard people whispering or staring at her when she was with the two Slytherins: it really wasn't her fault, they were the only ones speaking to her.

Even Riley seemed to have noticed, for even if Jude didn't know, she had an eye on her. She was more curious about the Slytherin than she would have liked, and she wished she could control her impulses to approach her and ask if all was well. But the reality was very different: she watched from a distance, knowing that she could never cross the line that separated being her teacher from being someone close to her. So from the teachers table she cast glances at the Slytherin table, specifically at that troubled girl who managed to occupy large spaces in her mind.

Ginny had looked at her for only a few moments at their new meeting with the therapist days later. The redhead realized that the Slytherin's posture was no longer relaxed and almost ironic, but that her arms were crossed over her chest and her foot was constantly tapping against the ground, almost getting her out of her mind. Triumphantly, Ginny looked away. She had made it a point to shake the new sensations Jude had awakened in her out of her head, and after their brief discussion at the Three Broomsticks, it had been a simpler task than she had expected.

"Is that all?" She had asked in the middle of the meeting, abruptly cutting off Riley's words, who looked at her, puzzled. "I have to go."

After those whispered words, Jude did what she promised. She slung her backpack on her back and disappeared into the bustle of the students that Ginny and Riley could see through the door. The young teacher scratched her forehead, somewhat dazed, and then jotted something down in her notebook, a fact that, for some reason, bothered Ginny.

"She's been acting all weird these days," Riley said, seeking some kind of explanation from the Gryffindor. "Do you know by chance what's up with her?"

"Why would I?" Ginny replied brusquely. Being associated with Jude almost made her angry. Or maybe it's what she wanted others to think.

Riley parted her lips a little. "Oh, I thought... She told me you were friends at some point, so I thought you'd know if she ever had outburst like this."

"She told you that?" Ginny's voice came out much softer than what she had painted in her head, and she hated herself for it. She cleared her throat. "Our friendship ended years ago, when she decided to cut all forms of communication and joined the dark side. She became a Death Eater, she became what she hated the most."

"But, before that, you were friends, right? Say, from first year, yes?" Riley ventured.

Ginny nodded slowly. "Yes, we met on the train."