Heartless and Disorientated

1:24 am

the moment my brain turns on I can't handle it, I'm not in control, just a baskseat driver

panic takes over. 

all I can do to keep from exploding is to distract myself just a little longer, 

to ignore the things that will keep getting worse the longer I wait, 

until I have to face them at their worst of all.

I am not helping myself, but I cannot stop. 

I finally realised its all my fault, but then it's not,

and it is 1:24 am