Not Everybody Can Be A Protagonist

Chapter SIX

Midoriya watched from his seat in the bar as a man approached an androgynous-looking person and offered to buy them a drink. 

If it weren't for the fact that this was happening in three other places, the fact that it happens nightly, and that a love interest's rival was obviously watching from the background, Midoriya and the other background characters might have been slightly concerned. 

Midoriya sat three seats down from the protagonist. He wasn't alone, heavens no, he didn't look like he would be here alone, so he wasn't. Hikari was in the bathroom. Though, from the stumbling man followed by the two other males that followed the stumbling one into the bathroom, Hikari was playing dead on top of a bathroom toilet. 

Midoriya doesn't doubt that he remembers the four rules. Feet up, breathing low, palms dry. Stay calm and don't leave until the sound of a protagonist being dragged out of the bathroom has passed.

Midoriya sighed and sipped his martini. He didn't need to worry about it being spiked, he was a background character. Drugs wouldn't be wasted on him.

Hikari popped back into his seat shortly after the 'unlucky' protagonist had left the bar. "Did I miss anything?"

Midoriya let out a tired smile. "Only the same old, same old. I'm betting that the person three seats over is male."

Hikari leaned glanced over. "How'd you know?"

"Simple," Midoriya smiled and sipped his martini. "He has an Adam's apple."

"Okay, fair point," Hikari sent another glance towards the man. "I bet he's a top."

"You're reasoning?"

Hikari smirked. "His posture. He's unnerved about something, someone, excuse me. Bottoms at the bar are usually slumped over with their head on the table when this happens, almost as if they are trying to regain their balance. His center of gravity is tilted." Hikari sipped his martini. "Plus his eyelashes are stunning." 

Midoriya let out a laugh. "What more could you expect? Someone has to look up lovingly into his eyes."

Hikari snorted and took a deep breath. "No, no, you are wrong! It's obviously there because someone has to gaze lustfully at his sleeping face." 

Midoriya covered his mouth as he laughed. He knew it didn't matter, background character could scream their hearts out and never be noticed. 

Midoriya downed his glass and gave the money to the waitress. "I'm going to head out now, I still have some paperwork to do at the office." 

Hikari watched as his glass was refilled. "Have fun! And remember not to make too much noise, who knows what kind of funny business could be going on in there~" 

Hikari was joking, but they both knew there was a good chance that a boss and subordinate were fucking in the office room. 

Midoriya sighed and stepped outside of the bar, a chill breeze swept right past him and towards a girl up ahead who was wearing a pretty dress. 

Ghost? 

A teen, probably around 15 or 16, stared at the girl from on top of the bridge.

Definitely paranormal.

He swerved his heel to head in the opposite direction, where the only thing over there was a protagonist that, quite obviously, wants to be left being approached by a group of friends that had labeled themselves their friends. 

Midoriya doesn't pity protagonists like that, they almost always go through character development arcs and get rid of the feeling of annoyance towards the never-ending chatter.

A giant wail erupted from a house a few blocks down. 

Midoriya wasn't startled, of course, a warning had spread around a few weeks earlier that some delinquent had picked up a demon child. Everyone in that area was to periodically complain about the noise despite having noise-canceling earplugs.

Midoriya decided that like the average working joe, his final project could wait until tomorrow. Working religiously leads to attention. 

He stepped onto his front porch and didn't doubt the keys in his pocket, doubting leads to double-checking or panic, which is not normal for this kind of situation. 

Some of you may think 'doesn't Midoriya ever stress over having to be perfect all the time?', the answer is no. 

A background character doesn't have to stress over being weird every second of the day, they just have to stress over not being weird every second of the day.  Background characters are allowed to make noise, goof off, have fun, and everything else that a normal person would do, they just can't do it in an 'exaggerated' way. 

This is their blessing that is hidden as a curse, and it is their curse that is hidden as a blessing. Background characters could fill their hearts with desire knowing that each and every want could be filled, but background characters cannot step outside the firm lines set in stone for risk of messing up their entire world.

Midoriya sniffed his nose and walked inside, and to his dismay, one of his plants was beginning to wilt. Sighing, Midoriya set his keys on their hook and went to pick up the poor plant. He didn't understand why it was dying, he had surely watered it religiously day after day and set it in the sun for the right amount of time. Summer was in its prime and there was a beehive on one of the telephone poles just a house down, the dirt wasn't infected with any type of fungus, nor was there a sign of any type of bug or pest...so why had it died so soon? 

Midoriya squinted at the plant suspiciously and sniffed one of its leaves before immediately jumping back. This plant had been infected by a 'still death' technique!

(A still death technique is a (most commonly overpowered) move used by a side character that is close to the protagonist that ensures a quick death, a silent death, a petrified death, or an overwhelming massacre like death.)

Midoriya picked up the plant, still tucked away in its pot, and set it gently inside a plastic bag. Shooting a quick text to the neighborhood group chat to warn them about the still death, he then stuffed his feet into his shoes and tossed the plant into the garbage bin on the south side of the building. 

(The south side is for specially defected objects, the one opposite of that is for the normal garbage.)

Keeping his eyes still, he pretended to make a call while focusing his attention on the houses on the outer rim of his central vision,  one house back and one house to the left sat a messy yard with shutters. No one on this block owns shutters.

Midoriya sent the address to the group chat with a warning tag 'shutters' and returned to his house. He had dishes to do and a meal to make.