A Torn Family

Chapter 6

I woke to the sound of a human being entering our motel room. Sam slept on the bed farther from the door, and Dean and I had shared a bed. Each of us had gravitated to the edges of the bed, but our hands stayed connected. Whenever I shared a bed with someone, I needed to be able to feel them, or my abandonment issues would kick in. I had been abandoned by both my twin brother, and my father on multiple occasions throughout my life. Dean was the only constant in my life. It shouldn't have been a surprise that I had abandonment issues. I blinked at the dark room, and met my brother's identical green eyes. We shared a knowing look, and I watched as Dean's hand crept under his pillow to grab the knife he always slept with.

"Rise and shine, sunshines." Sam's voice chimed from the door of the motel room. Dean shoved his knife back under a pillow, and I rolled closer to Dean to steal his body heat.

"What time is it?" Dean groaned, wrapping an arm over my back. I immediately felt warmer as I burrowed into my brother's warm arms.

"It's about 5:45."

"In the morning?" Dean grumbled at Sam, and I reached for the knife under Dean's pillow. He caught my wrist though, gently flicking my fingers. I didn't see the big deal. It's not like I was actually gonna kill Sammy, I was just gonna chase him outside, steal his room key, lock him out, and grab a few more hours of sleep.

"Fuck off, Sam." I groaned.

"Yup." Sam didn't seem tired at all.

"Where does the day go?" Dean grumbled sarcastically. Sam didn't laugh.

"It disappeared." I joked under the covers. "It took the warmth and went on an extended leave."

"Funny, Kiddo." Dean rolled onto his back so he no longer held me. I grumbled as all the heat left me, leaving me freezing cold once again."Did you get any sleep last night, Sam?"

"Yeah, I grabbed a couple of hours." Sam told Dean.

"First off, you're a shit liar, Sammy." I grumbled into my pillow. "I was up at three, and you were watching a George Foreman infomercial."

"Hey, what can I say?" Sam tried to crack a joke. "It's riveting TV."

"And second... " I trailed off. "I forgot my second reason. Let me sleep a few more hours, and I promise, it'll come back to me."

"Quit whining, Lu. We're already awake." Dean shoved my shoulder lightly. "And you, Sam, when was the last time you got a good night's sleep?"

"I dunno, a little while, I guess. It's not a big deal."

"Yeah, Little Brother, it is." I turned on my back to look him in the eyes. "Because the less you sleep, the less I sleep. The less I sleep, the worse I look. The worse I look, the meaner I act."

"I appreciate the concern, guys. But-"

"I'm not concerned." Dean sat at the edge of the bed. "It's your job to keep my ass alive, so I need you sharp."

"Can't Lucy do that?" Sam asked, and I swung my arms at the air, hoping Sam was close so I could catch him in the gut or something.

"Like she said before, she's sleeping less, and she's no longer nice. That roughly translates to, Lucille won't give a shit about keeping me alive until she gets enough sleep." Dean untangled a piece of my hair from around his fingers. I may or may not have made him braid my hair the night before under threat of death.

"You still having nightmares about Jess?" I asked Sam as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.

"Yeah." Sam sat on the bed next to us. "But it's not just her, it's everything. I just forgot, you know? This job- it really gets to you."

"You can't let it." Dean took a long sip from his coffee. Mine remained untouched. "You can't bring it home like that."

"So, what? All this, it never keeps you guys up at night? You're never afraid?"

"Everything keeps me up at night, Baby Brother." I sat up tying back my bed head. "That's why I'm such a joy in the mornings. That doesn't mean I let fear control my life."

"Dean?" Sam looked at Dean, expectantly.

"I'm not ever really afraid." Dean shook his head.
Sam's retort was to reach under Dean's pillow and pull out his knife. I choked on a laugh when Dean appeared to be speechless. Dean shut me up by turning towards me and spitting his hot coffee in my face.