Walk the Talk

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She'd stared at the card for about ten minutes, then pretended to work for a couple of hours, and then had another stare contest with the card. The card won.

Tina grabbed her mobile and dialled Dr. Edwin Montjoy, PhD, the President of BFSS a.k.a. The British Fungi Science Society.

"Dr. Montjoy," she started after he picked up. Oh c'mon, Tina, the man sent you sweeties and invited you for a walk. Loosen up a tad. "Edwin," she purred. "This is Tina Popplewell."

"Ah, Ms. Popplewell, what a pleasure."

Would you just listen to this voice! That's what they call the Received Pronunciation!

"I'm calling to thank you for the basket. And the book," she added hastily. Bugger! She'd left it on the kitchen table. In the hands of the furry menace! Oh no! "I absolutely love it. It's quite a page turner."

The man on the other end of the line laughed softly.

"Thank you, Ms. Popplewell. It's a rewarding feeling, I have to admit, to see one's name on the title page of a book."

You don't say.

"I could only imagine," Tina muttered. Oh bugger, what should she say now? How do people even do this? "How are you doing these days?" she squeaked.

"Quite alright, thank you," he answered.

Yeah, mate, this gives me nothing to work with. Help a girl out, would you?

"Right," Tina drew out. C'mon, Tina, ask the bloke out. "Do you skate, Edwin?" Oh that's good, ask him to the rink. You can ogle his long legs and wide shoulders from two meters away.

"No, unfortunately I don't." Oh bugger. "I can see why you would assume I did," he said with another charming shy chuckle, "with me being born and bred - pardon the cliché - in Lower Woulds. But I simply have never had much interest in the sport. Do you?"

"Nah," Tina answered unnecessarily loudly and then cleared her throat. "I just– Like you said, because you were born– and bred–" Oh shut up, Tina.

"Would you perhaps want to go for a stroll instead, Ms. Popplewell?"

I thought you'd never ask, Dr. Hot Mycologist!

"Yeah, I'd love to," Tina answered in an offhanded tone. "When did you have in mind?"

"I'm free this afternoon," he said. "I'm working on my next book in the mornings, but perhaps, after three? I could come by your cottage, and after that–" He paused. "I suppose, we'll see where it takes us."

Tina gave out a daft giggle - and tried to cover it up with a cough.

"Are you well, Ms. Popplewell?" he asked - in an understandably alarmed tone.

Oops. Forgot we can't use this technique these days!

"No, no, I just– choked on my coffee," Tina quickly came up with a lie. "A stroll at three sounds lovely, Edwin," she added.

What a lovely name - Edwin. Elegant and just a tinge old-fashioned. Goes very well with Clementine. Unlike, say, John.

"Excellent," he answered. Aww, he sounds sincerely happy!

"Well, I see you then, Edwin."

Mmm, Edwin.

"See you then... Tina."

Oh, he called her Tina! How exciting!

She hung up and pressed her mobile to her chest. Dr. Edwin Montjoy. Absolutely marvellous!

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