Strange and Delicate |Haikyuu!! Tooru Oikawa X Reader|

Chapter 29: Defeat

Despite desperately praying during the whole game for them to win—for him to win, Aoba Johsai still tasted defeat against Karasuno High School.

The cheering squad of Seijoh's team went awfully quiet; a lump in your throat forming with the tense atmosphere that surrounded everyone that had supported Aoba Johsai and expected them to win.

As tears formed in the corner of your eyes, you immediately searched for him. The moment your gaze landed on his face, your heart shattered. The way Oikawa's eyes held a distant look, the way his lips quivered in disbelief, the way his hands shook in frustration--all of them made your heart ache for him.

You wanted to say you understand him and you do, but you don't know the intensity of the pain he felt, the efforts he did just trying to reach his dreams—only to end up in failure and loss. Oikawa fought with insecurities and tried his absolute best to improve just to defeat his long-time rival Ushijima and go to nationals. It's his dream.

Although he looked like the type of person to skip practice because of his carefree personality, Oikawa practiced in hopes of improving fast, more than anyone. Though he doubted himself more than anyone else did—he's also the one who desperately tried to believe that he'll achieve what he wants if he worked harder.

This was why it's so painful; because he knew—no, they knew that they did their best to win. But in the end, they still lost.

Some people might only see this as a simple game of sports to see which or who was the strongest and may never understand the disappointment; but those who poured all their heart into this—like Oikawa—knows why it's painful and so disheartening.

Your eyes just followed Oikawa who stared downwards the whole time, even when they took a bow in front of the cheering squad. Hikari and Momo shouted words of comfort to the team, while you stood still with a pained expression—as if you were the one who lost.

Though the plan to tell him that you're leaving still didn't change, it's harder to do it now than what you thought previously. A lot of ideas entered your mind on how you can stay longer beside Oikawa until he regains his energy, but there's a voice in your mind that's telling you it's futile.

Because the team won't be participating on the tournament tomorrow, your stepmother would decide to leave tomorrow—maybe in the afternoon—since the company she works for seems to be saying that she's urgently needed in their Tokyo branch. Her promotion was decided last minute because of her colleague who was the one supposed to be at the receiving end, that's why there's a rush.

Imagining how Oikawa's expression would fall apart when you finally tell him made you close your eyes in anguish. Telling him and not telling him will hurt the Great King the same, but the last thing he needs is knowing that you left without telling him properly.

Oikawa will definitely understand the reason, but he won't appreciate it. However, you contemplated wether you'd go with your plan at the cost of seeing his pained reaction later. Revealing it to him the day you'll leave is not good either, but it's better in your opinion.

Then why am I hesitating? Why is my heart aching so much?

The day you first saw him surrounded by people at the school gate, you thought Oikawa was flashy and annoying; but most of all, envied him for he was friendly, sociable, and a happy-go-lucky—someone you thought you'll never be.

You dreaded the favor you did for Rina because of the commotion it caused, but now you're actually grateful that you accepted it. That's when you and Oikawa crossed paths with each other.

If it weren't for him and your friends, you wouldn't change a thing about yourself. Perhaps you'd still be chained by your past, cowering behind your stepbrother, Kentaro.