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Since Buck took Murphy on the date he hasn't had any more phlegm but he's been wheezing a lot more, Murphy knows that it means the cancer is in his lungs and that he's about to die. Murphy has been silently getting his affairs in order not wanting to hurt his parents by making them help, and it works. He's written a letter to both of his friends and his dad, but he's having trouble writing one for Buck and his Baba. He holds the pen and starts to write but nothing happens, most of the time he gets frustrated and gives up for the day.
Right now Murphy can't worry about that, because Buck is taking him to his appointment. Buck's captain had even some leave, it was hard for Buck to accept it because it would force him to understand the fact that Murphy is dying but he wanted to spend all the time in the world with Murphy. It took some pressure off of Murphy's parents as well, now not having to schedule time off so one of them can stay with Murphy and take him to his appointments because Buck can take him.
"So, is there anything I should know about that you're gonna tell Dr. Holmes?" Buck said rubbing Murphy's boney knuckle, Buck knows that Murphy likes to hide things but he doesn't want to be shocked. Murphy sighed taking a sip of his water. "I've been having chest pains, and almost daily I've been wheezing. Um, when we had our date in the car I coughed and some phlegm came up in the tissue." Buck sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand as they were at a stoplight.
"Are you expecting her to say anything new?" Buck asks as the light turned green. "Just that I'm getting worse, they usually do an x-ray take me back, and then while in the room they take my blood, takes a few minutes but then Dr. Holmes comes back and talks to me about her findings."
Buck slowly nods taking in everything that Murphy says. "Do they make you were a mask? I know that some people have to do that so they don't get infections." Murphy suddenly shifted nervously in his seat. "They said that I should but I don't because I'm already dying so, who cares right?" Murphy joked but Buck didn't think it was very funny.
Buck put his lip in between his teeth as he turned the car into the hospital. "If you're up to it, Maddie would like to meet you today." Murphy scrunches his nose as he gets out of the jeep. "Where would we go?" Buck gets out and grabs Murphy's hand that wasn't holding all of the things he needed, Buck grabbed a few things so Murphy wouldn't have to struggle.
"Her apartment, she would understand if you need to leave. If that's what you are worried about." Murphy leaned against Buck putting his head on his shoulder. "Sure, if I feel okay after this." Buck nods and kisses Murphy's head before they walk into the hospital holding hands.
They had to let go so Murphy check-in, it wasn't that busy so they weren't surprised when they called Murphy's name and took him back for an X-ray. "Who's this Murphy?" A nurse nodded his head towards Buck who was sitting by the wall. "Oh, he's my boyfriend." Murphy gives the nurse a small smile, not even wincing when the needle goes into his arm. "Well, nice to meet you." The nurse sticks the vile into the needle letting it fill up with blood, Buck was watching Murphy's face the see if he had any discomfort but Murphy showed no sign still Buck reached his hand over to squeeze Murphy's leg lightly for a sign of comfort.
"Dr. Holmes will be in to see you in a few minutes after she looks over your results." Murphy doesn't say anything he just smiles showing the nurse that he understood, as soon the nurse left Murphy grabbed his water bottle out of Buck's lap. "Did the needle hurt?" Buck asks adjusting his position in the uncomfortable hospital chair.
Murphy shakes his head. "No, the needles don't really hurt me honestly." Buck nodded impressed by his boyfriend. "Can you help me lay down? Feeling tired." Buck nods and stands up letting Murphy grab his arm to help him slowly lower himself down on the exam bed. "Would you like me to raise you, some?" Murphy thinks before nodding.
Instead of letting Buck go Murphy grabbed Buck's hand, Buck didn't try to remove his hand he just sat closer and kissed Murphy on the head.
A knock on the door startled Murphy awake, he felt an arm on his hand that wasn't Buck's. "Sh, it's just me." Murphy opened his eyes to see Dr. Holmes standing over him. Murphy got up with Buck's help. "Sorry, I just got really tired all of a sudden." Dr. Holmes gave Murphy a sad understanding smile.
"That's alright, it's a symptom. Can you tell me if you've had anymore new symptoms and or constant symptoms before I pull up the x-rays?" Murphy held his hand out to Buck which he took quickly. "I've been having a lot of chest pain, the other day I coughed and some phlegm came up in the tissue. I've also been having some constant wheezing when I breathe." Dr. Holmes types everything on her chart about Murphy, sighing she pulls up the x-ray and turns the computer around to face the couple. "So, here is the x-ray from your last visit and this is the one from today." Even Murphy who wasn't in the medical field knew it looked worse.
"That looks bad." Murphy feels Buck start rubbing a soothing motion on his hand. "I won't lie, it is bad. Are you starting to get everything set up for when it happens?" Murphy sneaks a glance at Buck and then he slowly nods. "I've been doing it alone, by choice. I have an amazing support system but I don't know if I can do it with someone helping me."
Dr. Holmes nods and gets up, she listens to Murphy's heart and chest first. "I hear the wheezing you're talking about."
The rest of the appointment passes in a blur because all Murphy thought was that he was getting worse, and no one can do anything to stop it.
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