Someone, Somewhere // Ben Bruce

Chapter 3

I lay all night with those three words running through my head. I love you. Why would he love me? I'm nothing special, just a normal girl and one that self-harmed and is covered in scars. But the part that bothered me the most was that he is married. Sam is a gorgeous and intelligent woman so why did he like me. I hardy slept. I looked up to the top of my bunk and would lie for hours trying to make up an excuse for him and thinking that he was lying but the more I thought of it, the more the pieces would come together and fit perfectly. Ben arguing with Danny once I had left, Danny saying that what he said was true after Ben had stuck up for me, Ben getting annoyed when Danny kissed me. So all these arguments, they were caused by me. I sat and sobbed into my pillow. What if I was causing Asking Alexandria to split up, I won't let that happen, I'd rather die.

I woke up after a long night. I looked down to the bottom of my bunk to see Elisa sitting with a smile like the Cheshire cat. "What the fuck are you doing in my bunk?" I shouted as she shuffled over so she was sitting in front of me as I sat up. "What is it?" I asked as she sat and looked at me with a huge grin like a little child that had just got her first Christmas. "Well you know James?" she asked. I looked at her before answering "Of course I know James! We live with him!" She looked at me and drew me daggers before the smile appeared on her face again. "Well, we went to the back lounge and now my back is covered in bruises and scratches" she said with a smile on her face before raising her top a little to show me her back. Jesus Christ they like it rough. "For fuck sake Elisa!" I said as she burst out laughing. "Well, he's better than any guy I've been with before! And he likes being dominant! It was amazing" she drifted off and started thinking about last night as did I.

After Elisa left I lay back down, I didn't want to get up. I lay and lay until I had to get up. I walked to the lounge and sat on the sofa beside Elisa. I looked over at Ben who was sitting opposite me. He looked up at me and gave a shy smile before looking back down at the floor. He clearly remembers last night. I walked to the cases and changed into clothes. I was working today since my legs have healed up really well and weren't as sore. I picked out another Asking Alexandria top, ripped black skinny jeans and a leather jacket. I walked out and walked past Ben. I didn't even look at him, I couldn't. It felt awkward and you could have cut the tension with a knife.

I walked off the bus to see James and Elisa standing having a cigarette. I walked over and stood with them as they spoke about last night. I kept zoning out so all I can tell you about their night is bondage and they like it very rough. Soon Ben walked over. As soon as he realised I was there he started to walk away but I started walking away before him. I walked to the stalls and started putting ours up. I got all of the merch in the right places, got the change ready and put up prices. I walked to the backstage and put beer and water in their cooler. No one was there so no awkward moments would happen.

I walked back to the merch stand to see Elisa standing. It must be nearly time to start. I stood and done my usual job. I started off okay but started to muck up as my mind kept wondering, Elisa started to notice and had to serve most of the customers since I had to try and keep my head together. The only thing I was useful for right now was getting merch from the trailer. Soon it became quiet as Closure was playing. "Lyle! What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Elisa snapped. I looked at her before looking at the floor. I needed to get out of here. "The guys will need refreshments!" I shouted as I grabbed the crate of water and took it backstage. I put them all in the fridge and grabbed the empty bottles to put them away. As I started walking away I looked on stage to see Ben walking past the stage entrance. He looked at me as I looked back at him. I quickly put my head down and hurried away.

I walked back to the merch stand to see Elisa cleaning up the merch stand. I walked over and started helping her put the tops back into boxes and taking down all of the posters and laying them back into the box before walking back to the trailer and placing them in the trailer. Elisa looked at me as I locked the trailer and we started walking back in. "Let's go and watch the guys!" she said as she smiled. I looked at her. I wanted to say no but I know I'd have to tell her then. I walked into the back of the hall. It was Not the American Average. Ben walked to the mic. As he was about to sing he noticed me. His eyes locked on mine as mine locked on his. "One step too late and I never told you, that I can't take another disappointment. Breathing and grasping all leads to another messy ending. Breathing and grasping all leads to another messy ending."