with you || sope

❧9

Yoongi laid there awake, he knew the younger was still up. He got up from the couch and walked into their room feeling like an idiot about their one sided fight. Hoseok sat on the bed, staring out of the open window, a cool breeze filling the room.

"Can I have one..." Yoongi asked, sitting next to Hoseok. The younger grabbed the pack of cigarettes and handed one to Yoongi, lighting it for him. They sat there silent, Yoongi laid his head onto Hoseoks shoulder, taking another drag before offering the bitter cigarette to the younger. Hoseok grabbed Yoongis hand and took a drag, before letting out a chuckle.

"Why do we always end up like this?" Hoseok asked, looking over at Yoongi.

Yoongi shrugged, tapping the ash off of the cigarette into a small bowl "I wish I knew..." he looked over at Hoseok "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I overreacted earlier."

The younger shook his head "I get it, well I try to get it. You've been going through a lot and now that we slept together it just adds more to the confusion."

"But, you've been going through a lot too" Yoongi pointed out, handing the cigarette back to Hoseok. The younger put it out, taking a deep breathe.

Hoseok smiled and grabbed Yoongi's hand, placing a soft kiss on it "I'm fine really, I'm just worried about you... I'm worried about how we'll get through this."

Yoongi felt his chest feel heavy. He knew he was putting Hoseok through so much, he knew the easy solution to fix it all is to just fall into the youngers arms and let him take care of everything. He wished it could be that easy, he wished that he had control of his life but he didn't he had no Idea how to control any of this.

"I wish this was easier..." Yoongi admitted.

"It can be" Hoseok mumbled "What if we leave" Yoongi looked at the younger confused. "We can just pick up and go- I have enough money saved-"

"And leave everyone who's close to us?" Yoongi asked "What do we do when our money runs out... What if we can't find jobs-"

Hoseok shook his head "It doesn't have to be right now, we can just you know... think about it" he suggested.

Yoongi shook his head "I'm not going to be running. Especially for this..."

Hoseok frowned "Because I'm not worth it?" he asked, standing up form the bed.

"Hobi, you know that's not what I meant" Yoongi pleaded.

Hoseok felt insignificant to the older. He tried so hard, so hard to make sure Yoongi was okay and out of harms way.

"I know exactly what you meant" Hoseok grabbed some clothes and started to pack them into a bag.

"Where are you going? It's three in the morning-" Yoongi grabbed the youngers bag away from him and started pulling the clothes out "I didn't mean what I said!"

"Then what did you mean?!" Hoseok shouted back. Yoongi moved away a bit, he could feel Hoseok releasing pheromones. Yoongi felt dizzy.

"I meant that- We shouldn't just immediately think about leaving, we have a life here, people who care about us..." Yoongi spoke.

"We're not together." Hoseok spat out, his voice sounding so broken "I don't know how long I can do this. You're always changing your mind and I never know what you want. I can't keep guessing."

Hoseok walked out of the room, leaving the older there. Yoongi felt numb, everything that Hoseok said was the truth. Yoongi had no idea what he wanted.

Yoongi sat on the bed and started to sob, he couldn't keep putting Hoseok through his indecisiveness. Yoongi needed to figure himself out, but he couldn't do it without Hoseok by his side. Yoongi rushed out of the apartment and ran as fast as he possibly could to Hoseok. He saw the younger walk out on the apartment building.

"Hobi!" Yoongi yelled. The younger turned around and watched as Yoongi ran towards him. He clung onto Hoseok desperately "Don't go!" Yoongi pleaded "I-I know I put you through hell and I know I'm so indecisive and don't know what the hell I want half the time, but I do know one thing... I want you by my side..."

Hoseok turned around and cupped the olders face as he sobbed. Hoseok knew in his heart that he wanted to be with Yoongi but he just knew things would go back to what they were before with the older. Hoseok felt that they needed some time apart.

"I want you too, Yoongi" Hoseok pulled away "I hear what you're saying but I think you need time to be by yourself." he turned on his heel and started walking away.

"Hoseok!" Yoongi yelled "Don't go..." the olders voice started to become weak. He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Hoseok. "Please... Don't leave me" Yoongi sobbed out.

Hoseok turned around and embraced Yoongi. How could he just walk away from him?

"I'm sorry" Yoongi kept crying out. Hoseok walked him back to their apartment. Yoongi cried himself to sleep, all he could do was apologize to Hoseok.

The younger was so confused. Yoongi had no idea how much pain it put him in to see the older crying. Hoseok just wanted this to be easier, it could be easier. The two just had the worst way of communicating. Sometimes he wished they could just read each others minds but that would probably cause issues as well. He let out a sigh and held Yoongi close, shutting his eyes and falling asleep.