Sun Shines Through The Blinds

The sun through the blinds

The yellow sun filters softly through the slats of Billie's blinds. Dust particles dance in the evening light. I reach up and it warms my fingertips in an otherwise frigid room. I shutter and pull the yellow comforter tighter to my chest, partly from the cold and partly from the sound of the television turning on in the living room. It's my Aunt June, I know without having to check because my cousins and I have been avoiding it and the news altogether for a week. None of us have the brainpower to comprehend what is happening in the cities.

For the first few days it was concerning. Like the sicknesses from our childhoods it started off distant. Only affecting one country, a continent at most. But unlike those times this one was spreading faster than anyone had ever seen. It baffled the scientists and soon it was on our shores. It was here and there was nothing we could do. We found it easier to not hear the garbage coming in from every angle, making this a political issue. One side is calling it fake and nothing to worry about. The other side says that people should isolate themselves to the point of dying in their homes. Alone, hungry, and scared.

The sickness terrifies us all. We are afraid to leave our homes. Nowhere is safe. Thankfully we don't live in the city. They are getting hit the worst. We live on our family's few acres in the country. We only go to town if we need food. The scientists have said the sickness is slowed by wearing a face mask. It's only been two and a half weeks. No stores can keep the disposable ones on the shelves long enough for us to get our hands on any. My Aunt's manager at the supermarket says she knows how to sew and is getting some together for us.

"Girls!" My Aunt's voice echos through the house. We all trudge out of our rooms and into the kitchen. "They're showing another warehouse is shut down because of the sickness. I need y'all to go to the store to make sure we have enough for a week or two at least." My Aunt explains, reaching into her purse for cash. "Mostly rice and beans and a few snacks to get us through. It's all we can afford and virtually all that is left. I heard something about the supply chain hitting a roadblock." The mandatory lockdowns shut down almost all businesses. Only grocery stores, hospitals, and a select few "essential" industries were allowed to stay operating. Obviously the food supply chain was not encouraged to send its workers to the safety of their homes. As a result the sickness was ravishing through these workspaces. The warehouse workers were suffering the worst. Their cramped workspaces and limited access to protective gear was a breeding ground for the viral infection.

"Yes ma'am." Billie and I say.  Eden is silent but her face says it all. This has taken the most toll on her. I mean it wasn't like she was okay to begin with. And now the world was ending and she had to risk her life in a grocery store to feed her family. 

"I hear there's nothing really there." Eden adds. 

"I know, I did too. Just something." Aunt June hands Eden the money and gives her a kiss on the cheek. "Just a quick trip." She says sending us out the front door. 

Eden was right about the shelves of the store were virtually bare. But we managed to find some canned beans, a few unwanted bags of chips, and a ton of canned soups. We weren't the only people there without masks but we were the only ones staying a good distance away and being sure to avoid aisles with other guests in them. I was in the bread aisle, assessing the out of date loaves in case one was free of mold, when a man around fifty passed by me. I didn't have much time to move and he grabbed me as he passed.

"'Scuse me." He whispered.

I shuddered and rolled his hand off of my shoulder. The man retracts his arm only to begin coughing violently into the crook of it. I back away in horror covering my mouth and nose with my hand.

"What? I'm not sick! You think I'm sick?" The man yells defensively.
I don't say a word. The sickness is accompanied by a fever so strong it changes your demeanor. It makes you irritable and unpredictable. I want to run. Everything in me says to get as far away as possible from this man. He's older, and stronger, and blinded by rage. If I run he will follow. I decided to continue backing up out of the aisle.

"It's just a cold!!" He yells. "You're just like my daughter! She kicked me out! Did you know that! To starve! Her own father! This is what they want from us! To turn on each other! I bet you know her! I bet you two are working together to kill me!" The man spits the last words at me, visibly red and shaking. His forehead is beaded with sweat and his eyes are looking past me. I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to see my cousin Eden staring at the man with a steel glare.

"Sir, we are just leaving." She says, all business.

"Go ahead! Leave me to die!" He yells. I hadn't noticed until now that the entire store had gathered to watch our standoff. A store worker pushes past me slowly. Everyone gasps as he pulls out a pistol and aims it at the infected man.

"Leave now or I'll shoot." The trembling college student mutters. The two stand in a tense staring match until the sick man stumbles backward, only now aware of the situation.

"I...I'm so sorry!" He begins to cry. "I'm sick, I just need food." he pleads, walking towards the crowd. Everyone backs away. The clerk doesn't. He stays gun pointed to the man's forehead.

"Leave." The clerk says again.

Without another word the man runs past us and out of the front door.

"What the hell?!" A woman in her thirties yells. "What is going on? Was he sick? Are we sick now too?"

"It's okay everyone," The store clerk says as he reholsters his gun and makes his way back to the crowd. "I'm studying to become a doctor. You're all going to be okay." he says in a trembling voice.

"That's not very reassuring." I whisper to eden with a nervous laugh.

She doesn't smile. "Let's just go." She mutters.

Billie and I follow her to the register and pay for our groceries. 

"Are you okay?" Eden asks, breaking the silence on our drive back to our home.

The break outs in the cities were being broadcast continuously. A nursing home here, and school there. I had seen plenty of footage of the sick on the news, but this was the first infected person I had seen in person.

"Yeah," I say, staring out of the window at the clouds. They are the same as before. Everything has changed so much in the past month. The people are distant and standoffish and sick, the animals are on edge, every day I think that our town is becoming more hostile. But the clouds haven't changed. They are just as soft and beautiful. The sun still shines and the rain still comes and all of it is untouched by what is going on on the surface below. I think for a moment that I can't wait to be past this sickness and back to our old life. But the memory of the man is burned into my memory and I wonder if it ever will leave. "I'm just shaken up."