I Love You, From 38,000 ft.

MY FIRST LOVE'S NEW LIFE

Chapter 5

After the heartbreak, what’s the first thing everyone always does? Move on. The ones who know how to forget a person so easily are the lucky ones. I wish it was easy to forget the pain too. But it’s not. It will never be easy.

“DANE!” napalingon ako kay Fred ng tawagin niya ako. Napangiti ako kaya inayos ko ang sintas ng sapatos ko at tinakbo siya.

Niyakap ko siya at naramdaman ko na lang ang mga braso niyang niyakap ako pabalik. Pagka-harap ko sa kaniya ay pinuno ko ang mukha niya ng mababaw na halik.

It’s been a week since I last saw him! I missed my boyfriend so damn much! Naging busy kami lately dahil ilang months na lang ay gra-graduate na kami ng college.

And I’m excited to walk on the aisle of an airplane, wearing my uniform. We’ve been dating since we’re freshmen. Magkaklase kami noon and we’re really close dahil wala rin kaming kilala noon.

“Huwag niyong punuin ng langgam ang room, Dane and Fred.” Humarap kami kay Ma’am Joan na nakangiti. Nginitian namin siya at naramdaman ko na lang ang braso niya sa bewang ko.

Mabilis na tumibok ang puso ko pero sa isang banda ay may kirot ang bawat pagtibok nito. Napakunot ang nuo ko. Nandiyan nanaman ang kirot na lagi kong nararamdaman.

Alam kong hindi maipapaliwanag ng doktor ang sakit sa puso ko. Pakiramdam ko… emotionally ko ‘yon nararamdaman. Saan ba ‘to nanggaling?

May something ba sa past ko? “Dane.” Narinig kong tinawag ako ni Fred. Tumingala ako at pilit na ngumiti.

“Yeah?”

“Kanina pa kita tinatawag. May problema ba? Gusto mo ihatid kita sa doctor mo?” malambing niyang saad at pinatakan ng halik ang nuo ko.

Umiling ako. “No. I’m fine.” Niyakap ko siya para sabihing ayos lang ako at hindi na kailangan pa’ng pumunta sa doctor.

“Oh siya, mauna na kayo. Baka mamaya gumawa na ng bahay ang mga langgam dito.” Natawa kaming tatlo sa sinabi ni Ma’am.

Kinuha ko ang back pack at sumama kay Fred. He held my hand and his other free hand on my back pack. Kinuha niya iyon at sinuot kahit na kulay pink pa ang kulay.

Minsan nga gusto kong palitan ang bag ko ng Barbie design para asarin siya dahil siya naman ang laging bumubuhat ng bag ko, but I just realized how stupid it was.

Everyone was looking at him. Who wouldn’t? John Fred Evans, the ideal boyfriend, was again carrying my pink bag and he seems not interested with what everyone would say about us.

“Where are we heading to?” tanong ko sa kaniya ng makapasok kami sa sasakyan niya. “Want Netflix and Chill?” napangiti ako sa suhestiyon niya. I thought he would ask me out but I guess he can sense that I’m tired and can’t go to dates.

I dialed Mom’s number to ask permission. Busy siya sa pagda-drive at busy ako sa cellphone. Tahimik ang naging biyahe hanggang sa makarating kami sa kilalang building kung saan ang condo niya.

We entered the building with our hands locked and a smile plastered on my face. I just can’t help but to smile from ear to ear. Pumunta kami sa may counter para ilasta ang pangalan. I think required talaga ‘yung ganon… in case of emergencies, I think.

We were heading to the counter when a man passed by. His expensive perfume filled my nostrils… so familiar. My head suddenly ached, but it’s bearable compared to my recent headaches.

“You okay?” napatingin ako sa nag-aalalang titig ni Fred. I smiled at him and held his hands on my cheeks, I nodded. Ako ang nagsulat ng pangalan namin sa blue na notebook. I was busy writing my name when my gazes went to the name above mine.

Mike Angel Castillo  12-19-20

Ang kaninang mababaw na sakit ng ulo ay biglang naging sobrang sakit. Napangiwi ako at napahawak sa ulo, hindi pinabayaan ang ballpen na nahulog sa sahig.

A school, a t-shirt, and a man with blurred face holding my hand flashed through my mind. “Dane!” naririnig ko pa ang mga sigaw nilang nage-echo. With a blurry vision, I looked at Fred weakly before letting myself fall for darkness.

“HEY, KID!” a boy with messy hair approached me and led me his hand to help me stand up. Hindi ko ‘yon pinansin at mag-isang tumayo. Pinagpag ko ang palda at inayos ang uniform.

I don’t need a hand for help from anybody. I don’t want to trust anyone except for myself. A friend isn’t necessary when it comes to bullies.

I heard Mike chuckled. “Tss. How rude.” Nagpintig ang tenga ko sa narinig. I tried to calm myself, he’s just a new bully. Wipe him off your fingers, Khlouie.

“Don’t you have friends?” bigla nitong tanong na parang close na close kami. I shrugged my shoulders before talking, “Having a friend isn’t necessary when going to school. I like being alone, I don’t need friends anyway.”

I turned my back to him and started to walk away from the atmosphere. I sighed and tried to ease the emotion in my heart. It’s infatuation. Mababaw lang ‘yan. Last year, I also felt infatuated to Mason… so it’s normal.

Infatuated ka lang, Khlouie. Don’t let people meddle with you, they’re just playing. But the hope in my heart did not disappear. Maybe, Mike was different from them… maybe.

I SLOWLY opened my eyes, the smell of medicine is making my head spin. The familiar white ceiling welcomed my sight. Mariin akong pumikit at dinama ang ulo.

Narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pintuan, Fred and Mr. Fransisco--my doctor--entered the room. Agad akong nilapitan ni Fred, “Kamusta? Okay ka lang ba? May masakit ba sayo?” sunod-sunod niyang tanong.

“I’m fine. Masakit lang konti ‘yung ulo ko.” I smiled at him and held his arm to say that I’m fine.

“Perhaps you remembered something that triggered your brain, Ms. Aguilar?” napatingin ako kay doc. I licked my lower lip before talking, “Actually, yes.”

“It was like a flashback… when I’m around twelve or thirteen years old.” Pagkekwento ko. I can still remember the name of the boy in the flashback but I don’t remember his face.

DUMERETSO na lang kami pauwi ng bahay pagkatapos ng saglit na check-up at pinauwi na rin kami pagkatapos. I suggested that I’ll sleep in his condo but he insisted that I should go home. On our way home my stomach grumbled so we stopped on a fast food restaurant to eat.

I was just watching the people get busy inside the small restaurant. My elbows were placed on the table and my hands are cupping my face.

“Yes. Yeah—fuck you. I’m eating. Don’t bother me, ‘lil bro—urgh.” napatingin ako sa umupo sa bandang likod ko, kung saan may isa pang table. Nakatalikod siya sa akin habang may kausap sa telepono.

Pinabayaan ko na lang siyang magmura habang kumakain dahil sa kausap. “Ang haba ng pila.” Sabi ni Fred sa akin, nginitian ko lang siya at inumpisahang kainin ang fries.

We were talking and talking until I finish eating my food. “Tara na?” I held his hand and we started walking to his car. Nagtatawanan pa kami habang lumalabas ng may bumangga sa balikat ko.

I looked at the man and said sorry to him. He looked at me with his eyes wide open. Siya pala ‘yung nakaupo sa likod ko kanina. Bakit siya ganon makatingin?

“Do I know you?” tanong ko sa kaniya. He looked at me like he had seen a ghost. Nakaawang ang labi niya pero walang salitang lumabas.

“Khlouie…” bigla niyang sabi.

“You know me?” amaze akong tumingin sa kaniya. Is he my classmate before? Or my friend? Or my neighbor from our old villa? He was not that familiar to me, but his eyes gave the nostalgia vibe.

His POV
It’s been years since I last saw her. The feeling changed, but the memory did not. My first love. My first kiss was in front of me and she acts like she did not know me. That dark brown eyes, still captures my attention, but do her eyes still sparkle so beautiful when she’s smiling? Does her hair still dances gently and gracefully with the wind? Does her smile still that stunning like before?