The Skalawags

6. Dinner

"I presume you all looted the room whilst I was gone. So, what's behind the curtain?" Verigar asks.

"I not think to check. You brains. You check." Doug motions for Verigar to lead the way.

Behind the curtain is another shimmering magical shield. Through this the company can see a young girl standing close with her eyes screwed shut. Behind her stand two hideous monsters. She appears to be crying.

"Right. If we smash the shield those monsters will get lose. If we don't that poor girl will eventually die of terror. That's a nice new sword you have Mole. Why don't you do the honours. Everyone else get ready." Verigar begins to puzzle his way around the problem.

Aehorn quickly scans the field of force before her. "There may be another way. Like that switch there on the wall." She points to the side where there is a large switch set into the stonework.

"Well done. We will try that first." Verigar takes a pull on his pipe and loosens his rapier in its scabbard. "Mole your shiny new sword will still be handy if those beasts get loose. Flick the switch Aehorn. It's time for action."

The Tiefling flicks the switch down. The magical shield dissipates, and Doug reaches forwards to grab the girl.

The horrors rush forwards and Aehorn flicks the switch again. The magic field rematerializes trapping the unnatural beasts behind it.

"That was easy. Who are you girl?" Verigar enquires of the small red-haired child.

"I'm Tabitha, my mam bakes bread. I seen you in town before." Gram comes over and scoops the girl up in a protective embrace, cooing in her ear telling her that she is safe now.

"She Gentry's sister. He say leave her, he not like her." Doug rumbles.

"You leave her to me big boy. I'll keep her safe." Gram turn her hardest stare on Doug, who slowly backs away grumbling.

"If we are all finished shall we keep going? I want to try out my new sword." The mole starts towards the door.

Verigar moves to follow noting that this doorway seems to be depicted as a slightly more overweight version of the clown's face than they have seen so far.

Once through the portal the party are faced with a large, long banqueting room.

The central length of the room has a long table running along its length. Around the table are seated many people they recognise from the town and from market days. Everyone is dressed in fine clothes cut in the latest of fashions but looking out of place on these working people. Everyone is happily tucking into the foods laid out before them. Platters of meats, plates of vegetables, steaming tureens filled with aromatic stews as well as cakes and pastries of every kind imaginable.

At the far end of the room are a set of heavy curtains.

One of the dinners turns towards the company and calls to them gesticulating with a half-eaten goose leg. "Come take a seat, the food is to die for. You must try the glazed ham."

Doug immediately steps forward to grab a thick juicy slice of meat from the closest platter.

Verigar however shouts to the others as he sprints across the room heading for the curtains. "Come on, no time to waste. Nothing here is a threat. We go to find Tasha and end this madness."

Aehorn glances at a strawberry tart longingly but runs after him followed by the others. Doug pauses to swallow his mouthful. For a moment he feels a little fuzzy, but he shakes his head wipes his greasy fingers down his front as he dashes to catch up with the others.

Through the curtains they find a hot, steamy and very busy kitchen. As they enter the chefs all pause in their tasks turning to look at the intruders in their realm. It is incredibly loud in the room the centre of which is filled by a large machine which is grinding, clanking and hissing as it churns out a series of pies onto a conveyor belt. As a large female chef steps towards the party she shouts over the cacophony, "Back to work every one, the dinners won't prepare themselves!"

Several things are immediately apparent to our group of rouges.

First, the chefs are all humanoid farm animals, goats, chickens, cows, sheep. The head chef is an exceptionally large, black and white milk cow. The image of her standing there, with an apron barely covering her udders was to scar The Mole for the rest of his days.

Second, overhead there was a series of chains transporting fattened people to the grinding machine, where they were dropped – alive – into its infernal mechanism, their screams did not last long.

Lastly, the machine was churning out pies, made from these people.

"So, I hear your hiring chefs of the finest quality. I am here for the job." The Mole steps forwards towards the head chef. "I see some of your pastries have soggy bottoms, slightly less gravy in the fillings and a few minutes longer in the oven should help with that." He walks towards one of the tables on which a Goat is busily garnishing some fruit scones. "Hmm, if you were to dust those with some icing sugar the sweetness would nicely complement the tartness of the berries." He spotted an un-used apron and began to put it on. The animals all around the room slowed in their work to stare at him.

"If you're here to work then grab a ladle and get stirring the stew. Have you lot got any skills? If not get out if you have, then prove your worth." The cow gave the rest of the party a stern look and slapped her rolling pin against her palm.

Chester slipped into the shadows at the edge of the room and began to make his way towards the back whilst everyone else's attention was turned away.

"I say it looks like your machine there is running below maximum capacity. I could have a quick look at it and improve the efficiency of your enterprise." Verigar began to step forwards towards the machine. "Doug could you bring the tools."

The cow stepped into his path as all the other animals ceased in their work holding various knives, mallets and rolling pins, which looked much deadlier than you would imagine kitchen implements should.

Whilst all the 'chefs' attention had turned to Verigar and Doug, Aehorn began to move around the opposite side of the room to Chester towards a door at the far corner.

The Mole stepped up to the head chef murmuring an incantation. "Your eyelashes are beguiling my dear. How do you get them so long. They frame your eyes beautifully."

"You are a charming man. Perhaps later we could have dinner together, when my shift ends?" She replies reaching out to stroke The Moles high cheek bones.

The Mole holds back his revulsion as Doug and Verigar press forwards towards the machine. "That sounds delightful my dear. I'd love to see you something figure hugging. Wear your finest dress. I'll bring a fabulous wine. It will be udderly delightful."

As he said those fateful words, he knew his spell of charming would not hold for much longer. He could hear Chester snigger at the far side of the room.

Verigar reached into one of his many pockets and threw a hand full of ball bearings into the hopper at the top of the machine. Doug smashed his sword into the machine's workings and all the party ran, dodging this way and that through the room towards the door. The animals turned as one to attack but their cries were lost in the cacophony of noises from the now groaning and sparking machine.

As clouds of steam began to fill the room, the companions dashed for safety, dodging through a storm of thrown knives and pans to leap through the open maw of yet another laughing clown's face.