Bring me back to life

Chapter 4 - New Beginnings

At first I thought the doctor must have been mistaken, the last pregnancy test I took was the whole reason my bear wasn't with me anymore, but there was no mistake I was pregnant, you were in there no matter what the last pregnancy test had told me.

It's funny how some moments seem so clear in your mind after so long time has passed, you're 7 years old now and the most beautiful and talented girl I could have ever hoped to get.

I smile everyday so proudly that I get to be your mother, but they told me I don't have much time to spend with you anymore and soon I will be gone. 

That is why I decided to write this down, the story of everything I will never be able to tell you when you're old enough to understand it, but hopefully you will read this one day and know how much I loved you, how much I loved your real father and how special the man you call dad today is and I hope you will know that I didn't leave you alone, I left you in the best hands I could have ever imagined possible. 

Anyway enough of that, I have to tell you the story of how we came back to New York, you see when I found out I was pregnant, I realized it was time to go home, leave all this pain and the reminders of the life I wasn't going to have with my bear behind me.

I couldn't keep sulking around being responsible for my baby's well being inside of me, some people wanted me to have an abortion, they told me I was crazy to have his baby when he wasn't around anymore, even worse some said I only did it to hold on to him.

 I didn't really think much about what I packed down to leave Texas, I just packed all my clothes and left, Matt's parents told me they would take care of the house. 

I had never really been a big fan of my in laws, I guess that's a humanity thing to never really be all that exited about them, but they really came through for me after Matt died and I will forever be so grateful to them, considering the pain they must have felt losing their oldest son.

I had no place to live in New York yet so I was bound to go back home to my parents to live, Middletown, New York, where I grew up. 

I missed my mom a lot so I was very happy to go stay with her for a while, to get taken care of by them.

 I stayed in most of the time, just watching TV, I still had a hard time facing the world outside. 

But one day when I was laying on the couch my mom came in "Jennifer I need your help! I don't have time to do this by myself can you please go to the store for me?" 

I really didn't feel like going anywhere, but my mom had been so good to me lately it was the least I could do. 

I took her shopping list and went to the store in my sweatpants and a hoodie, I never wore clothes like these outside usually, I loved dressing up and looking decent when I went out, but I didn't care so much anymore, besides who was I going to meet?

 And just as I was looking for milk "Jen? Is that you?" 

I turned around confused and there he was Mark Brown, my high school crush, naturally he never knew that, he always just saw me as his funny side kick, "OMG Mark hi!" I smiled and hugged him 

"Wow, it has truly been forever since I've seen you Jen, how are you?" I sighed, Mark was my very best friend in high school there was no way I was going to hide the pain I felt for him 

"I heard" he said sympathetic and hugged me again "I'm so sorry Jen! I can't believe something like this could happen to you" 

"Well.." I answered fighting the lump in my throat "How long are you back in town for?" he released me. 

"Forever I guess" I tried jokingly "Really?" he lit up "You're here for good? We have to meet up and catch up!" 

"Sure.. Sure.." I wasn't really feeling that sociable but it was Mark, and I truly did miss his friendship a lot, so how could I have said no?

 "Great I'll call you" he smiled and left the store