I want to be beautiful and I want to express myself. The two can not coexist. If I'm myself, I have to be ugly. And if I'm pretty, I can't be myself. Everyone tends to strive for beauty, right? You can't blame them. ['piles of pearls and buttons' is a little collection of sentences my brain came up with in the middle of the night. To make my thoughts shut up, I have to write them down. And to get some deeply desired attention, I have to blurt them out loudly.]